September 3rd, 2008

jack sparrow innocent bystander ohmi02
  • ohmi02

UrsulaV complains about mysteriously breeding clothes, but niamh_sage knows the truth.

"It's W-space. Yanno, like Terry Pratchett's L-Space, only with wardrobes instead of libraries. What you actually did was pack somebody else's clothes into bags and give them to the goodwill. Right now they're looking at the empty space where their favourite corduroys once were, and they're scratching their head and wondering how the washing machine managed to swallow a whole pair of trousers."

Context, QWP

John Tesh... Great One from the Deep?

In response to a smooth jazz jam band horror story from notlostonme , sillyape  tells us this chilling Lovecraftian tale of modern music:

"When I moved to Denver (the closest "big city" to my high school) at age 18, I worked roughly 32 million shitty McJobs over 1.5 years or so. One of them was working venue security at Red Rocks for a local concert promoter. My pay was in the same range as the 6-year-old Burmese dudes who glue Air Jordans together, only instead of ankle chains and systematic abuse, my benefits package consisted of Ludovico Technique reprogramming via the worst music imaginable.

I was dangerously close to being broken down Gitmo style after a summer of Reggae Sun Splash, The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and Dave Matthews Band, but the atom bomb that broke this camel's back was John Tesh Live At Red Rocks. I had to physically restrain teeming masses of Franzia-drunk soccer moms from rushing the stage and sportfucking Mr. Tesh for 3 hours while being bombarded/mindraped with his savory blend of soprano saxophone laden ballads for the white ruling class. It was enough to make a deaf person stab themselves in their useless ear canals with a broken bottle of $9 Coors Light. At night's end, I picked up my paycheck and turned in my yellow SECURITY shirt for the last time while sobbing uncontrollably.

The man is a force of nature on par with Cthulhu. Do not anger him.
"

Original post and responses F-locked.  QWP

  • Current Music
    Spongebob Squarepants theme song

(no subject)

multimediagrl will not accept any crap from the Mac brigade about her laptop problems:


"System restore points haven't worked. And if you fucking mac fucks spark me ONE WORD, I'll cut a bitch."

 

Whole frustrated entry here:

http://multimediagrl.livejournal.com/435107.html

 

The wrong kind of pillow talk...

slothel wonders aloud about the bedding arrangements at the White House:


Ooh. A pregnant teen living in the VP's mansion. Fantastic. One little heart attack for McCain, and she could give birth in the Lincoln Bedroom! Woohoo! And just as an aside, that makes me wonder what brand of mattress is on the bed in there? Is the bed an unusual size? Did they have to have the mattress custom made? If they did, they probably had to have the sheets custom made, too. Do they bother to make custom-size fitted sheets? And if they do, how many sets of sheets do they have for the bed? I mean, it's not like there's a lot of traffic through there, is there? Surely they could get by with just one or two sets, right? Or maybe they just use two flat sheets and tuck the bottom one in at the top, which never works as well as a fitted sheet. And are the housekeeping staff trained by the secret service? Could one of them kill me with a finger?


Context is tut-tutting at the SCANDAL of it all. (QWP)