August 12th, 2008

(no subject)

colorbynumberz: Why did I type correctly twice?

oneminutecloser: Your other personality is doing crack without you noticing.

colorbynumberz: So, that's where all my money has been going!

oneminutecloser: It's like your other half is the stay at home wife that depends on the husband's (yours) income to survive. Except, instead of spending the money on groceries and kitchen gadgets, she spends it on crack.

Half of you is so very selfish. You should be partly ashamed of yourself.

Context is nothing, and everything.
Queer Me
  • dien

Gays vs Violence

zenicurean speaks sagely about the acceptability of violence versus homosexuality in RPGs:

Haven't you heard? It's perfectly okay to deal with mind-numbing, soul-destroying personality disorders, death paid for in cash, the destruction of families and the murder of innocents. Just shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die, it's fun for the whole family. However, the subtlest of indications that a guy might conceivably like the rod melts the brain like a popsicle, screws up the mental development of entire generations, and makes Communist Muslim Cthulhu rise from the dark depths of R'lyeh to savage us all. The players would be out on the street, huddling in some urine-soaked corner and babbling incoherent blasphemies. And shooting heroin. In their eyeballs. For shur.

Context was locked down to prevent it scarring The Childrens. QWP.
meta meta meta meta DATA DATA

on the other hand, recording the noise could make a really cool sound effect.

paladyn is experiencing some technical difficulties.

"Dear Taliban,
would you mind not launching mortars so late in the day while i'm trying to finish my reports and update my slide? I tend to get distracted easily and it causes me to forget key details on my presentation. Not to mention people then start asking me stupid questions, and I would rather not stay late.

Sincerely, Paladyn"

Context can't work under these conditions.

In Which InSafeMode Relates An Incidentally-Brought-To-Mind Story

When one of my ex-roommates was four years old, his parents held a party with all their friends from work. It was an Adult party (not to be confused with an ADULT party), and as such, it was no place for a four year old. And, besides, it was past his bedtime.

Not one to be denied a party, the sage four year old sat down on his bed, and tried to think of a way to go to downstairs and mingle, without being caught, and sent back to bed. He could tie a red blanket around his neck, and wear his Superman pajamas and go downstairs, but Superman was a do-gooder boy scout, who, when asked to go upstairs and go to bed, would be forced to comply. He had once gone downstairs naked, imagining himself invisible, and that had made his parents very cross. What, then? He dug through his closet, and there he found The Answer To His Problems. A Darth Vader mask. Who would dare send Darth Vader off to bed at nine PM? Maybe Emperor Palpatine, but that's about it (these being the days before anyone knew of whiny emo Anakin).

This is how there came to be The Greatest Party Ever, in which a bunch of suited up water cooler types, sat around the couches, and leaned in doorways, listening to a tiny Lord Vader regale them with stories about dinosaurs, and computer games, and other things that strikes Tiny Vader's fancy. Tiny Vader is, at no point, sent upstairs by the little boy's parents, but eventually falls asleep on the chair, and wakes up the next morning clutching the Vader mask like a teddy bear.

This has nothing to do with the story I'm about to tell you, except that when Jim said, "So I've been telling a story about you recently that involves Darth Vader, and I thought you should know." This was the only story I could think of.

context is much less work-safe, quoted with permission, and busy interrogating princesses.
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    amused amused
killing everyone

(no subject)

rohaa is writing her Master's thesis in Biology:

Like, we need an updated evolutionary theory. (Creationists are going to have a party about that, btw) The fight goes thusly:

Biology: We has an evolutionary theory! Yay!
Physicists: Ur theory be suxx0rs!
Biology: Noooooes, lookit, proofs!
Physicists: We has order generating theory too!
Biology: Okies. Pretty. But um. Ants are not molecules.
Physicists: We no need individuality and ecology and environmental factors. WE HAS A MATH!
Biology: But here, no be molecules. Be more tricksy.
Physicists: Ur STUPID. You biology peoples just don't UNDERSTAND us.

Collapse )

Context is locked, loaded and ready to take on some PhDs, QWP.

scarlett_speaks writes a letter to brook hogan"

So Brooke, I have a step-by-step, easy to follow instruction sheet for you:

1. Get roaring drunk with your bff-who-looks-like-you-and-is-your-same-age-but-still-inexplicably-dating/fucking-your-dad. This will not be hard, I'm sure you've done it before.

2. Get in your over-priced car.

3. Start driving.

4. Wrap said car around a tree, or a bush, or a restaurant. Making sure that you've already passed out and the passenger side receives most of the damage.

context is a hogan-hater
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