Metaquotes

So I'm standing in the kitchen staring into the fridge trying to decide if I want anything. I look down and Laddie is doing the same thing. Conversation goes something like this...


Me: You need a snack?
Laddie: Woof
Me: How about bologna?
Laddie: whimper,pout
Me: You want to go tell Bridgett we are having bologna?
Laddie: (Without moving from his spot, and very loudly) WOOF,WOOF,WOOF

and then there was Bridgett. Try to tell me they can't talk.

from cammie018 Locked, QWP, but quoted in it's entirety.)

cargoweasel has a world-exclusive on Sen. Clinton's concession speech:

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: huge success.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Democrat party.
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.

(Chorus 1)
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the ballots get done and the speeches get spun
For the voters who are still alive.

Context has the rest of the songspeech, and further hilarity in comments.

If you're out with your family and you see two people of the same sex kissing, you don't actually have to explain anal sex or fisting or the workings of a strap-on or the precise anatomical location of the prostate or what a bear is or how to put on assless chaps or what gay-for-pay means or how edible flavored lube really is or why that well at the tip of a condom has to be there or what kind of batteries go into a dildo or how many sexual positions two six-foot-tall guys can get into in the cab of a pick-up truck or why Heath Ledger was robbed of that Best Actor Oscar or what Melissa Etheridge needed David Crosby for or what poppers are or why those really flamboyant guys in the Pride parade only wear a sparkly thong or Leonid the Magnificent.

If you're having such a hard fucking problem understanding what to say to your kids about gay people, ask them. Ten bucks says they will look at two guys or two girls kissing, shrug, and say, "They must like each other a lot." - Context is a little bit tired of having to say the same thing over and over.

If padparadscha had photographic proof of aliens...

I'd probably LOLien it first. (Is dis da intarnetz?) Ask me sometime about my theory as to why nerds would be DOOMED in a monster attack because they'd take pictures of it and stand around arguing about how it could have gotten around the square/cube law and what its origin is and which COOLER monsters could totally take it and there would be two nerds looking it up on Wikipedia, and they'd do that until the monster knocked their building down and ate them. Which they would think was awesome.

( Collapse )

Context doesn't want a "happy period", it wants an AK-47!

It has been brought to our attention We scoured your journal for possible LJ TOS violations because you and your friends are MEANIES and we don't like you! YOU'D BETTER WATCH IT!

Fixed.



–playthefool in response to some internet drama

...sarahtales does not quite appreciate certain parts:

In general I tend to be a bit leery of the lurve-making in fiction: I like banter, I like sexy tension, I like making out scenes. But often in books when the bam-chicka-bam music starts playing I feel a bit like I've stumbled into the author's subconscious where I am seeing private things that they enjoy, and my usual reaction is to want to gasp 'Oh God, I'm really sorry! The door was open - I'm so embarrassed - I had no idea you were into - but it's none of my business! I'm so sorry!' This is even more often the case when you can have alien ladies with bosoms in their elbows.

QWP, unlocked.

In continuing explaining-it-to-your-kids coverage, ladypeyton said:

It took some explaining but I finally got my daughter to understand what gay was. It helped that one of her friends has two Mommies. Of course, getting her to understand that not every family consists of a Mommy and a Daddy was a little more difficult since *her* experience has been with a Mommy and a Daddy and she's already had basic reproductive biology explained to her.

Whenever the questions got a little too physical for my comfort I answered, "SCIENCE!"

For example, "Mommy, how do you make a baby without a Daddy?"

Say it with me, "SCIENCE!"

It's a great time saver!