Twilight in script form
From
medievaloracle, who really doesn't like Twilight and is highly amusing in her scorn.
Accident prone heroine, Bella, goes off wandering by herself looking for a bookstore. I wonder vaguely what's going to happen, as they've already made it pretty clear she has no sense of direction and will never find her way back to the restaurant she's meeting her friends at.
BOOK: Something is going to happen! Be prepared! See? She's wandering by herself. Oh look! A silver Volvo. Gee, that Edward drives a silver Volvo, doesn't he?
ME: And he's prone tostalking her following her around. I'll bet he's doing that now.
BOOK: Oh no! Bella's lost in a bad part of town! And these strange men are following her! Aren't you worried? Bella sure is. She's SURROUNDED!
ME: Edward is here, you moron, she saw his fucking volvo.
Context is not impressed by sneaky Volvos.
Accident prone heroine, Bella, goes off wandering by herself looking for a bookstore. I wonder vaguely what's going to happen, as they've already made it pretty clear she has no sense of direction and will never find her way back to the restaurant she's meeting her friends at.
BOOK: Something is going to happen! Be prepared! See? She's wandering by herself. Oh look! A silver Volvo. Gee, that Edward drives a silver Volvo, doesn't he?
ME: And he's prone to
BOOK: Oh no! Bella's lost in a bad part of town! And these strange men are following her! Aren't you worried? Bella sure is. She's SURROUNDED!
ME: Edward is here, you moron, she saw his fucking volvo.
Context is not impressed by sneaky Volvos.