Metaquotes

Why can't I get any? Why am I stuck with a whiny workaholic witch doctor who won't make out with me in my own dream? This shit is not fair!


Context.

woodburner gets phone calls asking for votes:

Jesus christ, the phone calls have been ridiculous. Dave said if he had been registered as a democrat, his desire to vote for either candidate in the primary would be plummeting, and I agree. If you want a chance of me caring about whatever you're selling, do not call my phone. Especially do not call my phone 8394759834675987 times over the course of 3 days.

Now, if you want me to despise you and all that you stand for and possibly attempt to set you on fire, go right ahead, call my phone all you want!

Context hates being called with the passion of a thousand burning suns on fire. The flames are also on fire.

Over on ontd_political, lidane doesn't think Hillary has much of a chance of winning the nomination. Unless...

"At this point, her only remaining hope for victory is that there's a sex tape out there with Obama, Wright, and Ayers in a three-way on a bed of Bibles, complete with US flag condoms and dead babies on spikes posted around the room for decoration. Short of that, she's toast."

Context underestimates Obama's sexual prowess.

Are you gonna check your insulin
Are you gonna stick that needle in
Naw, you don't need to take Precose
Fat bottomed girls
You stand a much lower risk of developing diabeteeeeeeeeeeees



–flemco waxes lyrical

A tale of true terror, from txtriffidranch:

you've never experienced true horror until you wake up to a strange sound and you realize that it's the sound of testicle-free cat scrotum being smacked up and down atop another cat's forehead.

Context knows you gotta sleep sometime.