May 2nd, 2008

Blindfolded Suits

Over In bvs_news:

After a long hiatus, hanabishirecca returns:

WEST: Good. So, you viewers out there are probably wondering where we've been the last few months. I encountered this unique problem where I developed two conflicting disorders. I had a rather annoying form of cancer and kidney stones. I was ordered for the cancer not to eat any meat, any egg products and an assortment of other foods. Because of the stones, I had to stop having any vegetables, chocolate, nuts, or dairy products. The only food I was allowed to eat after those dietary restrictions was fruit.

McWRITER: Well, that's something at least.

WEST: I'd agree if I wasn't allergic to all fruit known to man.

McWRITER: So what have you been eating?

WEST: I wasn't. I went into a self-induced coma and was awoken recently when I caught a whiff of the most scrumptious food known to man, the invisible sandwich. It contains no meat, no dairy, no eggs, no nuts, no fruits, and no vegetables. And now, I can actually sustain my body. Now that I can eat, I'm back.

Context is a news-reporter ninja.