March 18th, 2008

happy fun ball

(no subject)

QWP. F'locked context hates her son's wussy fourth-grade teacher:
"...You nauseate me, you disgusting, spineless, pallid little excuse for a man. I hate you. I've seen tripe in my soup that had more character than you. When we all receive our just reward, you will spend all eternity cleaning my toilets with your tongue, after which you'll have to write an essay describing your feelings about this experience, as well as discussing any new vocabulary you will have learned from my toilets. You foul little worm. For a person such as you to have testicles and a penis is such a profound waste of these lovely organs, yet I feel certain that you'd be just as much of a disgrace to the breasts and ova. Actually, the ability to have sex itself is something you don't deserve even a little bit, and as for reproducing, may Heaven itself strike your unworthy DNA from the rolls of history. May your ass-cheeks be afflicted with a red, weeping rash; may your wife continually entertain herself with syphilitic manwhores; may your car always break down in a busy intersection on a rainy day; may your armpits ache with swollen carbuncles! May flies lay their eggs in the corners of your weepy little eyes! You and your whole tribe are nothing but an infected open sore on the groin of the Universe."


No one can lay a curse as beautifully as people who've lived in the Middle East. I almost want to hide this behind a cut-tag, even though there isn't a single word in here that would get bleeped by the FCC.
homestuck: nepeta<>equius

Punctuation, RP-style

fidchell has a novel and amusing lesson in punctuation:

--
Heed my words, o young warrior, for they are here to help you survive in this cruel world.

Know that there are many paths of punctuation marks in the end of the sentence. Each one as important as the other, for a warrior must learn to be flexible in order to be victorious.

Know that the path of period is one of statement, for a warrior must be confident in front of his superiors and honest to his friends. The path of ellipsis is one of caution, for a warrior must be doubtful of those he trusts not and able to excite the others' curiosity about his thoughts. The path of question mark is one of curiosity, for a warrior must never forget to pursue knowledge in the name of improvement. And the path of exclamation is both one of commanding presence, for a warrior must learn to demonstrate his presence, and surprise, for a warrior should not be ashamed of demonstrating emotion where it matters.

But there are two and only two things that the path of tilde can lead to.

They are seppuku and mercy killing.
--

QWP, originally posted here at bad_rpers_suck
Sarek of Vulcan

R.I.P., Arthur C. Clarke

SF author Arthur C. Clarke died today at his home in Sri Lanka. sazettel remembered at filkertom's:
So there I was at the New Orleans Nebula Award ceremony. Connie Willis was the MC, and she decided that we needed a montage, like they do of movie clips at the Oscars. So, she read a montage of SF lines and concepts.

"I know where I came from -- but where did all you zombies come from"..."First Law: A robot may not injure a human being or through inaction cause a human being to come to harm..." We sat and listened, but when she got to "Overhead, without any fuss..." a banquet room full of science fiction authors was all murmuring along "the stars were going out."

It was the only line the whole room spoke, and that said a great deal.


Context is orbiting Iapetus, not Europa, dammit....
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