March 12th, 2008

marc johns

The World is a Dangerous Place!

emeraldqueene's father is having a little trouble cutting the apron strings:


Which brings me to another topic. My dad thinks I'm either a six year-old or retarded. He freaks out whenever I use the electric hand mixer because he thinks that somehow I'm going to get caught in the beaters. Whenever I have a sandwich at a restaurant with my parents he gets freaked out that I'm going to swallow the toothpick in the sandwich. Then when we were planning a camping trip to Washington he told my mom; "We better keep an eye on Kristen and make sure she doesn't get eaten by a bear."


Context knows that the number one threat to America is bears.
eddie-cakeordeath

mistful had difficulties with her web hosting service and flees to Brussels in search of solace:

 mistful had difficulties with her web hosting service and flees to Brussels in search of solace:

Particularly when I tried to change web hosts (hosts? Don't ask me, apparently they are necessary but the word makes me think of Alien) and all seemed to go according to plan.

Then suddenly my website disappeared. 'We don't have it,' said Web Host #1. 'We might have left it in our other pants,' said Web Host #2. '... Hey, is this yours?' asked Random Mystery Web Host #3.

I believe at this point I had to retire to my fainting couch. 

Of course it happened the very week that for a Secret Reason I hope I will be able to tell you guys soon, it was very important that I have a website up. Cue many panicked phone calls to America begging them to release my website unharmed.

WEBSITE KIDNAPPERS: Wait, it takes a while for the seeds to propagate.
SARAH: The seeds to... oh God, this is just like Alien, I knew it!
WEBSITE KIDNAPPERS: What you have to do is-
SARAH: Pay you anything you ask. Give up my country's secret codes. Sacrifice the white goat!
WEBSITE KIDNAPPERS: Calm down.



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QWP, Context has a tasty biscuit chocolate filling
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Red Dwarf, eww, that's so wrong, wtf
  • cmzero

sdaemon gets a very bizarre tech support ticket:

"Consider that Christians destroyed the majority of the continent of Africa. (Exploiting their natural resources; dividing their land; killing the strong image of Black male; creating an Idea that Africans were Ignorant, animals in need of Caucasians to tame them.) They told them they were ordained by God to be slaves. And they were Barbaric and inhumane. They were taught that their religion was insufficient. Yet, the Africans inhabited this land first."

...uh, ok.

I'll consider it. I'm considering it right now. And then I'm billing 15 minutes to the ticket and closing it.


To which 10001110101 advises:

-Ask them to let you know what operating system is currently running on their continent.

-Ask if the problem persisted after they tried rebooting the continent.

-Find out if they've downloaded the latest white man removal plugin for their AV.

THEN, once you've got them to reply with the necessary information, can you finally close the ticket. Not a minute before.


Context is racking up the hours.

EDIT: Since a couple people seem to think this isn't funny because sdaemon disses what they consider a serious issue, let me point out that someone submitted the bit in quotes via a technical support complaint site.