March 11th, 2008

buffy: give me time

(no subject)

tom_kiper takes a hard look at Collapse )

This Buffy panel is hilarious because a) their bedding is apparently made of pink-tinted clingfilm, and b) they're also apparently twelve, maybe thirteen.

Anyway, it's great that all these super-type characters are out there having fantastic-on-the-first-go attractive-person sex ("Wow!" "Amazing!" "No, you were amazing!" "Wow!" "Did I mention that was amazing?") but c'mon. Let's have some chaos, underperformance, and accidental electrocution already. Oh, and bears. Or something.

Context is friendslocked in pink clingfilm and QWP.
Suck An Elf!

Best spam of the day

Subject line: "Travel the world and see more nipples with your longer, thicker passport to happiness."
Body of the message: "Get wall to wall women, and twice as many nubile breasts."

hmm, if you had one woman already, then twice as many breasts would only be one more woman. Which isn't exactly wall-to-wall, unless you have an extremely small room. Of course, you could also have one one-breasted woman and replace her with one regular woman. That would be twice as many breasts but still the same number of vaginas, which seems to be defeating the purpose of lengthening your "passport." Meanwhile, if you don't currently have any women at all (which seems likely given the fact that your "passport" is so short), then twice as many breasts is not very many breasts at all.

Mainly, though, I just love the phrase "Travel the world and see more nipples." hee hee.

mamajoan is not thinking what spammers want her to be thinking.
fear and mangoes in las vegas

(no subject)

flemco likes to keep us updated on current events:

Tehran's Police Chief caught in bed with SIX HOOKERS.


Lemme get a little frank here:

Two women in bed? Show me a guy who hasn't considered it in detail. Gals, we're filthy pigs, and if you show up in bed unexpectedly leading in another woman for a guy who's over the age of 20, we have a laundry list at least nine sinful acts long of things we want to try. Not sayin', just sayin', two women in the bed is something almost every single hetero male prepares for all his life from his first pube onward. Like getting to gamble legally for the first time, or getting prostate cancer.

Three? Three hookers I can wrap my brain around with very little effort. It does make me wonder about specific configurations, but it could be done - especially if this hypothetical quartet is all about pleasing ME.

Four is where I start to wonder. First off, just how big is this bed? And they all rolled over and one fell out... You got one doing that thing, two teaming up to do the other, but the fourth one is pretty much going to either sit on your face and feed you her holiest of holies (and let's be honest - you gotta REALLY have a thing for eating vadge if you want to go down on a hooker) or find something else to do. Perhaps she'll read aloud to the group.

Five? Now that's just silly. You'd have one who just doesn't fit into the situation unless she's making sandwiches and taking your calls. Really, what do you tell her? "Oops, I miscounted. No refunds? Go wash my car."

So six...

They can't execute this guy under Islamic law. The sword will not be able to reach his neck, because it will be blocked by his almighty, six-whore-needin' schlong and balls.
rosie zombie, zombie rosie

love isn't blind, unless you denucleate your eyes

scarletdemon dispels love myths:

"Love is blind": This sounds great but in practice it just isn't true. People tend to go for the best-looking partner they can tolerate/get and that's usually someone "in their league". When the beauty balance is out, we can be fairly sure other factors are coming into play. If I see some incredibly pretty bloke with a minging fat bird on his arm I don't think "love is blind", I usually think "I bet she fucks like a whore". Love can also appear to be blind when, in fact, one person's view of their ugly partner is merely being obscured by huge piles of that partner's money.

QWP, Context will die bitter and alone.
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lets be friends. no!

Them's The Rules

It was NSFW week again at scans_daily and posters just went out of their way to break peoples minds by invoking Rule 34. In this case? Transformers porn.


The sexy, it eludes me. It's like watching a pair of refrigerators get frisky.

That porn has probably also been written, you do know that. Hot (cool?) fridge-on-fridge action. With sexay built in ice-makers.

Context's brain is more superglue than actual brain now. QWP.