Metaquotes

Seriously, warning for swearing in Torchwood fic is like warning for God when someone walks into a church.
- airelin, here (F-locked, QWP) 

THEN the fairy turns up. She's the bitch-queen sister of the former Karma fairy (Since we sacked the silly bint, she's been replaced by the pandas of righteousness and the goblins of getting-what-you-deserve) that got turned evil by Queen Lollipop of Stalkerville. Anyway. She's here. Blocking all the plugholes with her fairy-hair and generally being a minor nuisance that keeps telling me that I'm probably going to wind up letting everyone down eventually.

F-locked, QWP. Context is choking on pixiedust.

michellek has strike-induced amnesia:

Dirty Sexy Money has three episodes left from the pre-strike time. Rumors are that these episodes will be held back until September. But maybe that will change now that the strike is coming to an end? Anyway, that better not happen. I won't remember who any of those people -- not even superawesome Brian -- are in seven months time. I might not even remember who I am in seven months. (It's not impossible that I might suffer from amnesia that wipes my memory entirely. Then my mom will try to reconnect me with my previous life, and she'll say, "Look, Michelle, Dirty Sexy Money is coming back! Remember how you liked that show?" and I'll say, "I don't know what you're talking about, woman I've never met before." And she'll start to softly cry while she curses God and that flowerpot, which had to strike such a fragile and memory-filled part of my head.)

QWP from a locked post.

aaronisthebest understand the woes of killers who sign their text messages with their initials

"Actually, I remember reading that John Wayne Gacy used to text his victims hour before saying, "I'm going to commence serial killing now and you're next! JWG."

I was nervous a couple years ago, because here in southern Nevada, we had a killer on the loose named Lewis O'Leary. My friend played a HORRIBLE trick on me, text messaging me: "I'm going to rip your pancreas out! LOL!"

I couldn't sleep for seven days. I thought that this O'Leary guy had killed my friend, taken his cell phone, and was going through the phone book, one by one, killing everyone off.

Thankfully, I was mistaken. While he DID, in fact, kill my friend, the cops got him before he could find me. So I dodged that bullet."

Context has a brain hemorrhage from all the head-desking.

to be fair, there is no such thing as naturally occurring cake

Oh my god life would be beautiful! "I was just walking through the garden today and saw that the crop of Red Velvet cake was coming along nicely. Why, the brownie harvest should be next week!"

Context doesn't have a cake orchard.

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Context. Locked post, QWP.

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Context is flocked. QWP.

Sim-J. has jumped into the bathtub and is pretending to be a retarded pirate on crack. QWP Context has control issues.

As my wife watched in horror as I stripped a lovely, crispity piece of skin from a perfectly fried piece of chicken and proceeded to wrap it around a chunk of pickled jabanero pepper, only to down it in a few nibbles, I was wondering if anyone else has similar tastes.

The only other thing I could think of was growing up and munching on chicharron with jalapeno and vinegar, but I'm sure other people have had similar things.

YUMZOWMYTONGUEOHWASTHATMYHEARTSTOPPING?!?

Context is finding out all the weird and wonderful things other members of cooking enjoy eating.