February 12th, 2008

amanda

(no subject)

imadra_blue has been re-reading the script to Star Wars: AotC

"If you cannot appreciate the sheer brilliance of having a hardcore badass muppet with a lightsaber, then you have no soul. Say what you want about George Lucas's dialogue and inability to direct his actors. You can even pick on his utter failure to portray transitions or offer explanations. But I will not budge on this: Yoda with a lightsaber, schooling Christopher Lee, was the greatest thing to hit cinema since celluloid was invented. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more, but mostly I couldn't get over the fact that Yoda. Had. A. Motherfucking. Lightsaber."

Context is unlocked and QWP.

(no subject)

deathboy attended the London Scientology demo:

I can't remember the source, but there's some sci-fi story I've read where the conclusion reads along the lines of "They could withstand the fiecest of our weapons, they could defeat us intellectually, but in the end, I think they died of sheer culture shock" - the looks on the faces of the scientologists when faced with a crowd in which a lone voice shouts:

"I HEAR TOM CRUISE HATES MUDKIPS!"

(all) "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

... how do you fight that?

How do you, ideologically speaking, defeat a crowd that is enthusiastically demanding that you "DO A BARREL ROLL! DO A BARREL ROLL!!" ?

I found myself very pleased about being British.

Context has a macro you'll want to steal.

Could God think up a quote so funny not even He could stop laughing?

A few heretics over at atheism rephrase the famous question:

dollyknuckles : Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
mothwentbad : Could God create a ho so bootylicious that even He could not say no to that fine ass?

And finally:
evanthx : Viagra. Because nothing's too hard for God.

Context does not believe in omnipotence.
All my chair are belong to cat

Don't get cocky, now...

ginmar deals with some fowl play:

So I just got a grocery delivery, which contained my favorite drug of choice, Cornish Game Hen. And then there was a great disturbance in the Force, and I went to my back door to see two young thugs fighting in the back yard, so I ripped open the back door and threatened them: "Get out of my fucking yard before I throw this at you!"

It was the Cornish Game Hen, frozen solid and resembling a small poultry cannon ball.

I'm not sure which was the convincing element in ending the fight, however. Each boy left in a different direction, one of them upsetting my garbage can. Was it the sheer weirdness of being threatened so, er, fowlly? Or was it the fact that my PJs make me look like someobdy in a Pucci camo uniform?

And so I retired the field of battle, triumphant, and with my Cornish Hen undented. I kinda wonder what's going on in this kids' minds tonight, though.

"Dear Diary:

Today I got threatened with a chicken. Not by a chicken, with a chicken. I'm never going to live this down."


Quoted with blanket permission. Context deserves the pullet surprise...
GI Joe/Roadblock - Body Massage

[Please see icon]

mhael makes a valid point:

In light of the new GI Joe movie in production, it occurred to me today that perhaps GI Joe would've had better success at wiping out COBRA had its members not been lying in wait in bathrooms, schoolyards, and bus stops waiting for children to engage in unsafe or morally questionable behavior so they could lecture them on it.

Context knows that knowing is half the battle!

Geeeeeeeeee IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Joooooooooooooooooooooooe!
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