Metaquotes

I did this hours ago, but I'm still feeling vaguely manly and stuff because after weeks of complete non-functionality, my car, the TARDIS (The Ancient, Reliable Driven-In Saab), is finally back in working order. The battery had gone dead and my lovely wife finally had had enough of it just sitting on the curb and decided to go to Walmart to pick up a battery for me. I put it in myself, and multitudinous grease stains later, BEHOLD! It worked like a charm. I feel vague urges to watch Nascar and have a beer, I'm certain this will pass.

Context doesn't even know how to change a tire, oh, the shame

This was a response to another post regarding the Playboy Wonder Woman cover, at teh_no's journal


KARL ROVE: Gentlemen, an issue of grave important has come to my attention... it concerns us all.

MEGATRON: That meddling Optimus Prime again!

KARL ROVE: No, worse. The Democrats are preparing their pathetic nominee to oppose our next president and one of them is Hillary Clinton.

Crickets chirping.

KARL ROVE: She's a woman.

MEGATRON: What!? You're sure this is accurate!?

RUPERT MURDOCH: My news services have confirmed it.

MEGATRON: Yeah, but... Fox News? Really? I wouldn't trust you guys to tell me which direction it's raining.


More of The Patriarchy Strikes Back

geminigirl shares how her husband,zedrikcayne describes her cervix during ovulation:

My husband has described it as "a flower, but made of roast beef" at that point.

Context is visiting the deli here.

Technically it was AOL's neglect that finally killed Netscape...

...well, to be completely accurate, IE dealt a savage but not fatal blow. Netscape crawled to AOL for shelter, but in a shocking betrayal AOL looted and gutted Netscape's body and built its still-usable organs into their own Frankensteinen hybrid, hooking Netscape's rotting remains to a life support system in a pretense at keeping it alive.

However, back at Mozilla Project, Netscape had secretly had a child who was hidden away and raised by kind developers. This foundling would in time become Firefox and one day avenge its parent... or so the legend says...

Context waits for the chosen one. (QWP)

Speaking of disturbing, here's one for the list of Things I Say To My Dogs That, Out Of Context, Sound Like Things I'd Say To My Nonexistant Boyfriend: "Will you just restrain yourself until I can get my pants off?!"*

*For the record, I said this because when I come home from work, my dogs are thrilled to see me and love to twine around my legs like big cats--but if I'm wearing nice work pants, I don't want them getting all hairy, so I have to scold the dogs off me until I can slip into my jimjams or jeans or something else I don't mind them sullying with vast quantities of fur.

Contextis flocked and QWP

katieupsidedown, talking about language awesomeness:

My "Discipline of English" class is about teaching English. It seems fun, and has a book called Grammar Alive!. As opposed to Grammar Dead!, which would be my Latin book.

Context is a Roman emperor on the first day of school