is having some issues with 2008's performance:*looks up from desk*
Ah, 2008, come on in... and close the door.
Do sit down. Tea? No?
Now, this isn't easy for me to do, but I have to say I'm very disappointed with your performance so far. When we took you on to replace 2007, it was on the firm understanding that you would make everyone's lives easier, and I'm sorry to say that hasn't been the case. Just look at this report: relationship breakups, redundancy, divorce, illness - the Winter Vomiting Bug, for gods' sakes - it's like 2007 all over again! I'm sorry, 2008, but if you don't buck your ideas up and start working a whole lot harder to improve the lot of this friends list, I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go.
Oh, now there's no need to take on so! I'm sure these are just teething troubles and if you apply yourself, things will soon be a lot brighter. See how you get on with the rest of January and I'll see you again next month. Close the door on the way out, would you?
Flocked post, quoted in entirety with permission. Context
is assistant regional manager...no, assistant to
the regional manager.