Metaquotes

tisana offers a prayer to thermal activity on a 5 degree day in Boston:

A prayer
Our Indoor Heating, Who art heavenly, hallowed be thy flame.

On these asthma-rific days, when the bus cometh not, we are grateful for the silk thermals, which allow us to walk through the Windchill of Death, and for the Yaktrax, which enable us to trespass over the ice that would make us slip and fall on our backs.

And lead us not into the hell of overheated subways, but deliver us from the evil of frostbite.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory of civilization.

Forever and ever. (At least until summer.)

Amen

QWP - Context prays for your sole.

masshysteria reflects on the pros and cons of reading articles by idiots:

so you know how i just said, like a couple hours ago, that i want to not be in so many trainwreck-dating situations? well, i was bored and decided to read an article that popped up online about how to not be depressed if you break up with somebody, and one of the pointers it gave you was to start dating people. here is a quote that is fabulous:

"The average marriage now lasts less than seven years, and this means new singles are coming on the scene all the time. Around 16 million people are now using online dating. You don’t need to worry about getting into a troublesome rebound relationship: New research shows that people marrying on the rebound are no more likely to fail than those who wait."

i'm sorry... WHAT? you're going to have better luck at dating because other people's marriages are failing? and it's a good idea to get married on the rebound because your marriage will probably fail, but it was going to do that anyway?!!!?

i'm giving more and more thought to just becoming a crazy cat lady at a young age. at least my cats will never leave me to get married on the rebound to someone they met on the internet.

QWP. Entry is flocked, but that's the whole post.

cameronrogers has recieved a late Christmas present. A copy of the Star Wars Christmas Special on tape.

They have Christmas in Star Wars? Are Han and Chewie familiar with our Lord and Saviour? Was the "Long time ago" one-thousand-nine-hundred-and-eighty-four years ago? But Bethlehem isn't a galaxy far, far away is it? And now he's singing about Einstein, and berating Artoo for not knowing who Einstein is! How does he know who Einstein is? Hang on, was Jesus a Jedi? Ben Kenobi came back from the dead. Does that make him Jesus? Then who's Luke? Does that make Mrs. Skywalker Mary Magdalene? Was this whole thing some sort of hamfisted Christian allegory all along? Why is Mr Lucas doing this to me? Oh good, here comes the Christmas Special!


QWP. Context's present has ruined both Star Wars and Christmas.

browren comments on Britney Spears' impending move to Denver for some rehab:

LOL, soon to be appearing in Denver Craigslist and AFF:

oops i did it again!
lol i'm newly single working mom new 2 the area, lookin 4 PARTY HARDCOAR & hot men NSA. r u down? e-mail only plz, i lost my cell again rofl!!!

mamarose has this to say today:

"This is a phone sex line, and Obama won't stop calling it."

Context is here:

So let's talk about the phone line for a second. I have given NO ONE the number. Only the phone company knows it. It is a land line without long distance, and I only take incoming calls on it. I own a toll-free number, which I route to this line (can route it anywhere, actually) so when it rings, I answer assuming it's a caller. If it is a caller, I hear a chime and have to punch in a code to connect with the caller. If I do not hear a chime, I answer "business line".

This alone has been enough for other two campaigns to stop calling me. But not Obama. 7 calls yesterday, 3 were prerecorded. Two of the four live calls were informed that this is not only a business line, but a phone sex line. This did not stop either person from trying to get me to caucus for Obama.

From a locked post. QWP.

slacker97 waxes rapturous over his new eyeglass prescription:

HOLY CRAP I CAN SEE! Things have definition and I can read small text and those lights on the mountains from the homes scattered across them...well I always knew they were homes and not just blinky lights in my eyes, but now it's almost beautiful. I was watching tv and when scrolling through the guide I didn't have to say "Wait...ok you can go. Wait!...ok you can go.WAIT...ok you can go" because I was RIGHT THERE WITH IT! Keeping up like a normal non "wah! I can't see!" person! TV was so much more colorful. Did you know Tina Fey wore glasses on 30 Rock? I just thought she had really dark rings around her eyes. Tina Fey is so awesome.

Context also named his plant "Plant."