"The Clash? Is that a band?"
--continued stunned silence--
Jess: You did NOT just say that!
Me: Oh... my dear God... you're kidding right?
Matt: Throw him in the pool.
Jess: What is WRONG with you?!
Me: I think that hurt me physically.
Matt: Throw. Him. In. The. Pool.
dandesun takes her rock bands seriously.
"You know, there are very few things more revolting to an empty stomach first thing in the morning than A: that Denise Austin commercial where she lisps her way through a scary advert for Idaho potatoes; and B: Gene Shalit and his even scarier determination to kiss so much ass that donkeys everywhere flee in terror lest he get confused and they get groped. The man is such a consummate ass polisher that he leaves no cheek unburnished, no behind unbuffed, no derriere unloved. Add to that that ludicrous do and mustache and you've got a monochromatic vision of Bozo the Clown to add to the nightmare, complete with slurping sounds."
Context is unimpressed with Charlie Wilson's War.
bluesilverkdg offered to bring a jug of milk home. Her mom
then informed me that she already had some, so that wouldn't be necessary. What she actually SAID next was "I've been using more milk than usual, but then again, I've made big breakfasts."
What I HEARD was "I've been using more milk than usual, but then again, I MIGHT BE PREGNANT."
Needless to say, I was a bit shocked. So I asked her what she'd said, and she then told me that she'd been making big breakfasts, with gravy, eggs, biscuits, etc., so she'd been using more milk. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.
I thought for a minute we had a true Christmas miracle on our hands. The woman is 60 years old and has been spayed. Plus, I've been an only child for 39 years. If I had a sibling now, I'd probably kill it.Context is off busting up a nativity scene in horror.
I never will know if Ellis is really an angry misanthrope or he just does that to shock his readers.
Love this thing anyway.
Anyone who's "shocked" by my work just doesn't get out enough. I never wrote a thing in my life just to "shock."
What about Ruins?
RUINS was a comedy.
Context notices he didn't comment on the 'angry misanthrope' part. :-)
9. Went into town yesterday. Now, I don't know if Sophie's TOLD any of you, but she's from STRATFORD-UPON-AVON. Which is this little town in England where this writer lived. He wrote plays. Maybe you've heard of them. His name was Shakespeare and he wrote plays. And he lived in Stratford-upon-Avon. Where Sophie lives.
9b. Of course, if she hadn't told me this every fifteen minutes for the past three-and-a-half years, I'd've noticed it within minutes of getting to the town, what with the Royal Shakespeare Company, the Shakespeare Center, the Shakespeare birthplace, the Shakespeare gift shops, the twenty-eight Shakespeare mentions in the local paper EVERY EDITION, how they've renamed Thursday "Shakespeare Day," the Shakespeare Pies and Witticisms Shoppe, and how there's a law that every baby born in town has to be named William, regardless of gender.
Context is in Eng-a-lund, f-locked and QWP.