December 18th, 2007

  • ems

Wishing onself to be Hannah Tointon = real desperation.

andthatisthat is NOT having a good day.


1. Buy lovely pizza from shop.
2. Preheat oven.
3. Remove all packing and cook pizza for approximately 12 minutes.
4. Remove pizza from oven and cut into slices.
5. Put pizza on plate.
6. Pick up plate.
7. For no apparent reason other than own retardedness throw scalding hot pizza on own arm.
8. Burn the fuck out of said arm.
9. Scream like a bitch.
10. Realise pizza is now on floor.
11. Realise said pizza is now inedible.
12. Realise said spoiled pizza was the only good thing happening in own life, and that despite best efforts at putting it under a cold running tap, arm is now horribly burnt.
13. Cry.
14. Sigh.
15. Accept this as your lot in life.



16. Sit at computer and compose possibly hilarious post on Livejournal.
17. Get up to put burnt arm under cold tap for a bit longer.
18. Due to aforementioned retardness, get foot caught on wheel of chair.
19. Drag chair along with self, knock over glass of squash on carpet.
20. Scream.
21. Cry some more.
22. Hate self. A lot.
23. Wish could just go to bed and say fuck everything.
24. Realise cannot as need to cook curry for stupid-ass potluck dinner that got sprung on self at the last minute.
25. Develop irrational fear of kitchen.
26. Wish self was anyone else except self right now.
27. Even Hannah Tointon.
28. (Okay, maybe not Hannah Tointon.)
29. Wish fewer people had been around to witness all of the above.
30. Lose all appetite despite still being hungry.
31. Give up all hope.

Context | locked | QWP.

(no subject)

pinkishmew spent her day in an interesting way...

I accidentally said, "Ever seen Noel Fielding wearing only an elephant?" to a friend, and then couldn't work out how to make screencaps. And I'm easily embarrassed by nudity. I just had to watch Sweet about five times over, trying to find it, and then trying to work out how to cap it, without my Dad walking in and thinking I have a thing for elephants.

Or Noel Fielding.

Context is flocked and QWP.
canadian borg

james_nicoll blows the lid off of the oppressive socialist medicare system

My OHIP card [Ontario provincial health card] expired but due to a surfeit of sit down and stay I have not renewed it.

Today I set out to the local OHIP office with a bag containing sufficient ID, a bottle of water and a book, knowing that the cruel bureaucrats of the Ontario health system might keep me waiting, what with them being evil socialists and all.

Nightmare one: There were almost no other people waiting to renew cards.

Nightmare Two: They have a receptionist who sends people to the correct section.

Nightmare Three: when it turned out the teller (not the right word but I will fix it in edits) was busy, the receptionist then inflicted on me someone who was not busy.

Nightmare Four: For reasons that could only make sense to a minion of the socialistic health care such as we have in Ontario, the person I was sent to managed to get me processed in about two minutes. Oh, for the streamlined efficiency of a free market system!

Context is the opiate of the people.