By the way, annual gift giving day is just around the corner. Please remember to spend wads of money on those you barely care about in an attempt to keep them on your ok side. Not your good side since you've really never been 'good' with them since that one time, when you did that thing and stuff happened. Ho ho, I'd hate to be you. But the important thing is that you still buy things to show each other you don't wish a slow painful death upon them. Unless you bought them lead toys. I think that causes slow painful death. *goes to wiki*Context looks for the "Made in China" label.
- do not dissect the roadkill with someone else's mess kit.
- do not compare the fitness hikes to the Trail of Tears.
- If you are being bullied, tell a counselor. Do not make voodoo dolls and leave them on the bully's pillow or hang them from nooses on the bunk bed.
- Do not tell the bully about that story you read where a bullying victim poisoned the bully's toilet paper with industrial insecticide and the bully died.
- Do not shoot the bully "accidentally" in the eye with bug repellent.
- Do not pretend that you have seen leeches, piranha or snapping turtles in the lake during Junior Swim.
- Do not tell the counselors that you heard that there is a chemical in bug repellent that causes birth control to stop working.
- Do not tell the cook that you are allergic to Kool Aid and can only drink espresso.
- Do not howl like a coyote during "Kum-bi-yah" and claim that it is tribal tradition.
- Do not tell other campers that the only way to keep earwigs from laying eggs in your brain is to make Play Doh earplugs and let them harden in your ear canals.
- do not ask the counselors what "an outbreak of crabs in the laundry" means.
- "Tits and Ass" is an inappropriate song for the talent show. You are eight years old and have neither.
QWP, Context was kicked out of Girl Scouts for eating a Brownie
A letter just arrived in the mail to our house, addressed to my uncle, from Queensland Health.
My uncle died 25 years ago this year.
It was from the hospital he died in.
It said that they apologise for the delay but have now got an appointment date/time available for him to see a specialist.
This, quite simply, is very Bad Form.
QWP, entire post. Context has asked Mr. Smee to prepare the plank.
The snow is still the subject of some concern, and anyone who didn't decide to work from home already is on their way out, it seems.
COME ON EMERSON. THE SUSPENSE, IT IS KILLING ME.
ETA: Less than five minutes after I posted this, Lissa forwarded an email announcing that the college will be closed as of 2PM.
I just don't know how another freakin' Teacher Inspires Students Who Never Had A Chance movie could possibly be better than Jesse James or Zodiac. For Gods sake, people get shot in those movies! Even Freedom Writers had inner-city violence.
Context hated Michael Clayton.
But Grendel, who lived just north of Denmark, did not!
Grendel HATED Herot! The whole Herot season!
Don't ask me why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be his
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all . . .
Was that Grendel had a heart that was three sizes too small.
Posted with permission. Context is carving the roast beef