November 27th, 2007

Bear Nuts

(no subject)

We all know an entry in ursulav's journal is a metaquote waiting to happen:

The Libido apologizes profusely (if somewhat sulkily) and agrees to go back into the basement. The Sense of Humor--whom I always visualize in these little scenes as an androgynous figure wearing the familiar hooded checkerboard robes in pale grey, and juggling hedgehogs, pomegranates, and three live mice--scuffs its foot along the edge of the cliff and says "Bet you'd get a great story out of it, though."

"Don't help," says the Brain huffily, flipping up a trapdoor and kicking the Libido down the flight of stairs so revealed. The Brain is a tall, statuesque woman wearing a Greek toga and steel-toed boots. "Some things are NOT worth a good story."

"Sez you," mutters the Sense of Humor, removing the pomegranates and working two machetes and a hard-boiled egg into the pattern.

The Libido, who is wearing a Betty Page T-shirt, an annoyed expression, and not much else, stomps down the stairs to the basement, where the Sanity and the Faith in Humanity are playing cards. The Sanity has not been allowed out of the basement for so long that nobody's quite sure what it looks like any more, although a Defective Squirrel is the best guess. The Faith in Humanity is let out on weekends for good behavior, and most resembles a baby seal wearing a crash helmet.


Context has an interesting inner theater.
pen

The end of an era

On the defeat of the Howard Government in Australia:

Labor's victory was swiftly followed by a freezing wind that swept across the land, the blackening of the sky, and the eruption of a hitherto undiscovered mega-volcano beneath the Simpson Desert, along with an outbreak of smallpox and the simultaneous exploding of the heads of 95% of the population.

Just as the Liberal advertising campaign had prophesied.


Quoted with permission from mrbehemoth, full comment is awesome and should be read: here.
KITTY!

Devil Phone? pujaemuss thinks so.

PHONE: I've got something to tell you!
ME: Shhh, not now. I'm talking to a customer.
PHONE: No, really, it's important. Really important.
ME: Is it something to do with the fact that I have a voicemail message?
PHONE: You know about that?
ME: Yes, I know. Not only was I tipped off by the fact that someone tried to ring me a few minutes ago, you've also told me twice in the last two minutes. Believe me, I know. Now shut up.
PHONE: I'm on silent mode. I'm being very quiet.
ME: Quiet and silent are not the same thing and right now you're buzzing away in my pocket like an out of control vibrator. Now shut up.Collapse )

Context is sick of his mobile phone answering back. QWP
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
mckeanhead

Latest development in the Middle Eeast: love conquers all

From reebchan:

ANNAPOLIS, MD – President George W. Bush announced today that Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas are currently “getting it on” in a U.S.-sponsored tete-a-tete at Camp David.

“I always knew these crazy kids belonged together,” Bush gushed. “They have so much in common – dietary laws, clothing styles, soccer games. I just knew they were meant to be. Oy! I’m such a great yenta.”


Context, including a picture of the happy couple.