November 20th, 2007

Oh Noez!!!

Santa Claus explained!

tamnonlinear offers an explanation for Santa Claus:

I was thinking about all the other Santas you see around, doing jobs at malls or bell-ringing. Then I thought about the elves, whose enslavement has never quite made sense to me.

So you have Mr. and Mrs. Claus owning a shop. Occupying this shop are a bunch of juvenile-looking gender-ambiguous slaves.

You see a lot of Santas around, but there are generally much fewer Mrs. Clauses.

And why is it that they feel the need to travel all over the world once a year?

I think it's a hive.

Context is waiting for some honey.

(QWP: "anything I post as 'public' is free for the linking and I'm honoured by the kindness of that. Also, hi, this is the internet, sharing is the point.")
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angstymcgoth gets back from the movies.

We just saw Beowulf, or, as we like to call it, DUDE MY BALLS ARE SO HUGE!!!

Whoa man! That movie was just...what! There was a LOT of testosterone involved! Example: Beowulf: "HAY GUYS! I'm going to take off all my clothes and absolutely kick the shit out of this demon from hell! And when I'm done doing that I'M GOING TO SLAP HIM REPEATEDLY WITH MY COCK."

Context likes a good action flick
Elsa Bloodstone

ishidashipper is getting her toenails painted...

We started talking in the bookstore and I mentioned that I'd just written a paper on Lolita.

That is not entirely true. What I said was, verbatim, "Up all night with Nabokov. Never want to see Nabokov again. Too much Nabokov. Naaaargh." *pulls hair, froths at mouth*

She looked up at me (she's really tiny) over her glasses and asked, in a very serious teacherly sort of way, "So did you like Lolita?"

And even though I'd just written a seven-page paper on the damn book, and have very definite (sometimes contradictory) opinions on it, all I came up with was:

"Yeah. Uh. Sort of. I don't know. Um. I'm never really sure if I like him or not, because I feel like. Uh. He spends too much time being clever. And kind of laughing at his readers. So. Um. I don't know, really. Er."

This is the condensed version, of course- the original had a lot more "ers" and "uhs." By the time I was finished she was looking at me as though I was going to start vomiting pea soup and peeing on the rug. (I kind of wished I could, just to smoothly facilitate a subject change.)

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Nested comment

jdotmi says this about PETA:

You know, being bombed by PETA is such a non threat these days. PETA bombs little old ladies crossing the street with their rocker. PETA bombs small children who have discovered chalk and sidewalk. PETA bombs themselves when looking in the mirror because they think they saw themselves on TV at some freakish animal exhibit in the lost city of Atlantis. About the only thing PETA doesn't bomb is the brown recluse spider who is currently pondering how best to land square on your forehead at 3am after a long night of watching bug invasion horror movies.

Context is a reply to a reply to a post on metaquotes.
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