November 3rd, 2007

steampunk valentine

sollite is applying to grad school...

I need you to pay me to use my brain. My brain is awesome, incidentally, so it might actually behoove you to give me lots of money so you can have it around. You know you want some of this stuff - this stuff in my skull.

Sweet, sweet brains.

Let my into your grad school. Now. Do it, or I will destroy you and all that you love and hold dear with the aforementioned brain. That includes your God.

Yes, my brain is actually that awesome.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter. I trust you will act in your best interests - I would hate to have to break your psyches, with my brain, were you to even consider rejecting my application to your grad school.

I know what you are thinking right now.

I am in your head.

Say yes, or I will slit wide open this vital cerebral artery,the one I am next to right now - the one that feeds into the Circle of Willis.

Oh, you don’t know what the Circle of Willis is? Of course not, but I do - because of my brain.

Go Wikipedia that shit. Now. I’ll know if you don’t.

My brain is Wikipedia - from the future.

You will let students cite me from now on.

Context doesn't deal with such plebian concepts of narcissism.