October 12th, 2007

band

(no subject)

bribitribbit plans for the future:

MY GOALS IN LIFE INCLUDE
...
2. Writing a porn scene using nothing but promotional gags used by Herbal Essences. (I.e. "Yes, yes, yes!" shouted Harry. "COLOR ME HAPPY, DRAMA CLEAN." And, oh, did Draco clean him. He cleaned so deep that Harry felt tingly all over.

Harry rested his legs on Draco's shoulders, claiming, "I'm deliciously bent--and now so are you.")

Context
brat

That certainly explains the Secret Service, though...

bellarisa's daughter has interesting ideas about dress codes.
No more Kim Possible for Princess B. When our friend dropped his son off for daycare yesterday, he was wearing suit for a job interview.

My child: "Why is Mr. ___ dressed up?"

Me: "He's getting a new job."

My child: " As what, a henchman?"

No adult in the vicinity was ready for that, my husband almost died right there. Anybody want a really cute little weirdo for a few days? Holla >;-)

Context is running into the kitchen so the kids can't see it laughing, f-locked, qwp.
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polycorns

(no subject)

Stage Manager's Announcement

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my duty to inform you that tonight's role of "Incapacitating Pain", normally played by Ow Christ My Legs, will tonight be played instead by Argh Fuck My Shoulder. Thank you for your understanding.



takhisis, here
illusionist

(no subject)

stoney321 shares a chapter from her Tru Life Tales of Stupid People:


3. Hallowe'en, a few years ago. One office worker, who has a beard and longish hair, dressed up as Socrates in a toga. The CEO walked into the hallway, saw a brown-haired (blue eyed *cough*) man in a toga, and believed Jesus the Christ was visiting him, presenting him with a vision.

...while taking care of some filing. "And lo, the Alpha and the Omega didst continue his scroll organizing, never ceasing. And Peter doth asked, Lord, why dost thou sort them so? And the Lord spake unto him, saying, "For McK dost come before McL and divers other Mc names. And I tell you, Peter, that there are other flocks than these, and they shall hath a tool that will drive a small spear through parchment, holding it together, and it shall be called Stapler, and it will be glorious in mine sight." Book of Caucasians, 4:28.



Context threatens to make this story seem fairly sane by comparison.
Mod

Hey! 'Sup!? Wow, you look great. Something different with your hair?

It's been a little while since we met like this. Things doing good? Life treatin' ya okay? Ever figure out what the hell the thing with the box and mirror from Gett Off by Prince is all about? Good, good.

Look, can we talk about something? Something's been bothering your mods recently, and I think before one of us puts up a real stink, we'd better clear the air.

Every once in a while there's a slew of posts that all have the same problem and makes us mods feel like total douchebags for sitting around constantly pointing it out. Recently, of all things, that's been with Rule #1.

There's a recurrence in the past few weeks of folks not understanding or thinking of the very first rule. People are 'metaquoting' IM conversations, transcriptions of offline conversations, RSS feeds, and stuff first posted on other boards. They're passing it off as original to livejournal because they found it on livejournal. Just because it eventually oozed it's way onto your flist doesn't mean it started out there. A snippet of conversation with some reaction is fine, an entire transcription of What Mary At Work Said to John, while probably hilarious, is not metaquotable. And no one likes sloppy seconds anyway.

So this is me, being the modly douche that washes away all misunderstanding, cluelessness, and possibly an ill-advised one night stand with overheardinnyc, to bring us into the sweet-smelling and freshly trimmed MQ for tomorrow. And I think we can all agree that's a Very Good Thing.

And there's a metaphor I never want to have to use again, so please, can we stick with LJ funneh? Otherwise I'll have to move on to enemas and no one wants to deal with that shit.

Thank you.

(PS- I still love you, overheardinnyc, call me, okay?)
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