October 2nd, 2007

girl me inside

bellemorda's children are taking over the world:

QWP from girlgamers, *Ref: The nextgen spawn are 7.5 (Twinkies) and 5.5 (Boy Wonder).

(at the GameStop)

She's cracking me up. I tell My Friend the Manager, in a couple years she oughta be able to hold her own in the store. "Hey, she's welcome any time," he says. "I like to tell the staff that she was weaned with a GameBoy in her hands."

Then, she proceeds to the demo setup where some flumping preteen boy is pronking the controls to what I think is maybe WWF Smackdown or summat like that. Note: she's never played any kind of wrestling game before, nor do we watch wrestling at all. Teenboy's fudging around while his wingman snickers into his paw at how bad teenboy #1 is doing. Without showing a shred of self-doubt, Twinkie 1 picks up the other controller and proceeds to beat the Sammy Davis Jesus out of this guy who's gotta be at least twice her age.

At first, he tries to ignore her and pretend he's concentrating on figuring out the controls. But she just goes at him with no mercy, pummelling the living crapitude out of him, throwing his wrestler into the corner and bouncing off him, ripping him over her wrestling character's shoulder. Twinkie 2 comes up.

Twinkie 2: Cooooool! What are you playing?

Twinkie 1: I dunno, some wrestling thing. Watch this. (she pile drives teenboy's character)

(They both laugh in a quick, giddy duet. It would be charming if they were playing with Barbie dolls instead of tenderizing some poor bastard's bloody ass into ground beef. Hell, it was charming to me, but that's the kind of sick momgamer I am.)

Context is getting its butt kicked by a little girl.
Nothing Wrong With Cackling In Moderatio

AHAHAHA says the Bible.

karjack says:

On the home page of my browser, I have a lot of Google gadgets, among them a plethora of quotes. One of these daily quote generators does Bible verses. Usually it's something I know, or at least it encapsulates some cohesive thought. Sometimes, the random generator program just grabs something and, since it is technically a complete verse, posts it. Like today's: Luke 16:19 There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:

It's the first time I can recall feeling as though the Bible is blatantly taunting me. Oh, there was this guy, not just any guy but a certain guy, and he was rich, had fine linen, all that good stuff. He was living it up. And you know what? He wasn't you. Not only that, but I'm not even going to tell you what happened to him.

Well fine, Christian book of guidance and salvation, see if I care!

Better yet, it could be interpreted as advice. If you want to fare sumptuously every day, be rich and clothe yourself in purple and fine linen! All it's lacking is the ad link and the subject line f1ne L1n enz 4!!!! u emailed to you from John P. Salvation.

(no subject)

quamp in customerssuck on c-sections of obese pregnant women:

Third, should we not convince you that we do not have this certificate yet, please DO NOT lift your blouse up and expose your Cesarean scar as proof that you had a child Friday. We do have small children here with their parents here, you know. Finally, if you must show us your scar, PLEASE DO NOT WEIGH ABOUT 400 POUNDS. Nobody here has a fat fetish. Thank you.

and mumblestutter in response:

Hm. Wonder how deep the doctors had to dig to find that baby? "Tie the line to my waist, Dr. Schneider, I'm going in."

Context just wants the birth certificate office to keep its PG rating.