The insanity continues
' father vs. the Liquorice Allsorts:
An update on the Liquorice Allsorts
situation! My father has decided - whether through research or sheer conjecture based on the fact that the ingredients are in several languages - that his box of Liquorice Allsorts are the European
kind, and that's why they taste funny. I suppose that is true of something like Coca Cola Lite, which tastes different to Diet Coke, but I have my suspicions that my dad's raging xenophobia has perhaps played its part in him reaching this conclusion. Anyway, he hasn't called the helpline yet as he spent most of the day trying to decide whether or not he should phone Woolworths head office. Yes, he's taking this to the TOP, people. Because what if these are CHEAP, KNOCK OFF ALLSORTS? What if it is ILLEGAL TO SELL THEM IN THIS COUNTRY? What if it's like how TURKISH TAKEAWAYS always have FAKE DIET COKE and it's ILLEGAL? What if, by HAVING THEM IN THIS VERY HOUSE, he is, in fact, BREAKING THE LAW? Answer me that, good people, because he is very concerned. And then of course comes another worry; of COURSE Woolworths head office aren't going to admit to any wrong doing on their behalf! Maybe he needs to take this higher! To some kind of confectionery regulatory board! It is all very concerning for a man with no job and waaaaaay too much time on his hands. What is an Allsorts fan to do, people? What is he to do?!
Find out in tomorrow's installment of The Mystery of the Fake Liquorice Allsorts. I can't promise, but I suspect there will be even more ridiculous paranoia. And possibly some kind of sugar induced breakdown*.
* He is, of course, still eating said Allsorts, regardless of the fact that they're too sweet and make him feel sick. Apparently this is for scientific reasons, though - I mean, what if he just had funny tastebuds yesterday? Although he definitely didn't, they are DEFINITELY different, but perhaps it's best just to check. Just in case. You know, for science.
Locked and QWP and all that sort of nonsense.