August 19th, 2007

Dani

(no subject)

dewhitton comments on one of the Pepsi MAX viral ad LJs:

"When in the far distant future the universe undergoes heat death and the last atoms of hydrogen cease their vibration and succumb to absolute zero, there will be one beacon shining in the cold darkness: your failure. Though none will be there to see, it will remain, blinking "Fail. Fail. Fail."

Context thinks Pepsi should fire their marketing department.
  • Current Music
    Blaqk Audio - Stiff Kittens
shoes of salvation

smallship1 has a message for Football....

Yesterday a red envelope came through the door from Virgin Media, who engulfed and devoured Telewet. On the front, in large letters, was our address and the phrase "The new home of football."

I would like to make it quite clear, on behalf of the Countess and myself, that our house is in no way shape or form "the new home of football." Football does not live and has never lived here, and anyone who comes to our door hoping to speak to football will be turned away. The same applies to cricket, hockey, rugby, shinty, lacrosse, and Andalusian jerkball (summer and winter rules), and indeed any other ball-related phenomenon. We have two people and two and two halves cats living here, and that is more than enough without adding in an entire competitive sport and all its baggage.

We realise that since Wembley was demolished it may be difficult for football to find a suitable property, but a mid-terraced house in a small West Country dormitory town seems on the face of it a notably ill-advised choice, and likely to cause problems all round. Accordingly we must stand firm on this.

We wish football well in its continuing search for a new home.



QWP, Context is the whole post, but can be found here.
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    amused amused
Greg Land rapes your childhood in ANIMAT
  • kali921

Two for the price of one: manly mojitos and Virgo freakouts!

thehefner blogs hilariously while inebriated, and spacechild calls him out on his mojito making:

"Yeah, except for the question 'did he actually put bitters in a mojito?'

Because I am totally willing to have your back on this mojito adventure, Heffie... forearms rippling with flexed muscle as you crush the mint leaves and sugar into a substance that exists only to serve you with it's sweet submission, the crushing in itself a reaffirmation of all that is masculine and rugged. Truly, the pestle is an extention of the penis, and all that will not bend to the will of the phallus shall be ground beneath it, and then drowned in rum and seltzer. Even the name, mojito, is taken from the latin, and in the ancient tongue it meant
"to conquer utterly"; it was a word used in less-than-polite circles to describe how one might destroy their mortal enemy or bed a willful woman. Truly, "Mojito" is synonymous with "Cock". That's right, with a capital 'C'.

...Except that he used bitters, and I've never heard of bitters being used in a mojito before.

Why don't you just castrate Charles Bronson with a pair of Hello Kitty safety scissors, Hef?"


Context is reinforcing masculinity with mint right here. Public post.

Next up, oakenguy ponders the perils of driving while Virgo:

"On the other hand, cross-country driving cranks my Virgo dial to 11: spontaneous side-trips are fine AS LONG AS THEY'RE PLANNED OUT A WEEK IN ADVANCE. As a passenger, nothing sends a chill down my spine like hearing "Ugh, the interstate's clogged. Get out the map and find us an alternate route." I swear, Moses must've said that to Aaron right after they crossed the Red Sea and started heading Israel-wards."

Context wants an OCD GPS system in the house right here. Public post.
Me
  • morinon

The slash writes itself.

On seeing a few scans of an old Superboy comic, the_pending has the following to say.

Hal is so blatantly, so obviously hitting on Clark that it exceeds my gleefullest dreams.

"How you doin'?" Hee hee hee!

Then of course, 'Forget about the girl! Take your shirt off and come surfing with me!' Then add thatto the already-mentioned arm 'casually' slung around the lower backmove. The only thing missing is Hal pretending to yawn so he can sliphis arm around Clark's shoulders.

By the time I got to "Laterthat night, Superboy and Hal work together to stop an underwatersmuggling operation." I thought it was a euphemism. I was all "Hee heehee! I'll bet they did! ...Oh wait, they did. Darn."


Found here.