July 28th, 2007

bowie bright

(no subject)

shadymaggot asks in thequestionclub

Have you ever made a joke about somebody that resulted in the person being joked about taking offense? By this I mean, you made the joke to the person's face, but you didn't mean to offend them or make them angry.

thewretchedhole replies:

Me: So what have you been doing lately?
Friend: Well *laugh*, I've been on the internet a lot lately.
Me: Oh yeah?
Friend: Yeah, have you heard of this site named newgrounds?
Me: ...
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hojxi-garden_of_aloe
  • bibsy

(no subject)

50 Cent's thug life ain't nothin' compared to red_bullet's.

My mom told me [Santa] was dead when I was 3. Of course she was trying to explain the "spirit of Christmas" and how parents carry on the tradition for him.

But still, the opening salvo is "Santy's dead, kiddo." I thought my dad was going to shit himself when she started saying that.


[...]

I brought it up to her recently and she got all defensive saying "Well, I wasn't about to lie to your ass. Would you have rather me told you he was alive? There's some 200 year old vampire man coming down the chimney to give you presents?"

She then said I was damaged when I told her I'd have zero problems with a vampire showing up to give me toys.


Context wonders if it should leave out blood cakes instead of cookies.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
bro & sis

Space food stix! Freeze-dried ice cream! Velcro!

In my brother's journal here:

bolddeciever: Does anyone else find it odd that the term "space-age technology" is still used in ad copy? I mean, it kind of means "technology from the 1950s or later..."

fenmere: I should use phrases like that to describe my art work!


"Grass Dog Studio proudly presents the latest in illustration technology, made with advanced polymers and the ancient secrets of pressed wood pulp, custom fitted to your design specifications! And through the miracles of space-age electro-magnetically driven 'computers' and amazing
wireless communication, it can be delivered right to your desk, by-passing your door altogether, and just in time for that board meeting! Don't miss out! Stay ahead of the Joneses! Order your Grass Dog Studio illustration today!"
  • Current Music
    my girlfriend playing WoW and grumbling about meat

Adventures in banking.

eco49rvra:
I stopped at the bank tonight to deposit my paycheck. I went to grab an envelope to put the check in, and was greeted by a pile of brochures. "I cannot put my check in a brochure," I said to the place the envelope should have been. I read the brochure. It had some pictures of people happily depositing checks without envelopes. I was not convinced.

I continued to scour the lobby for hidden envelopes, to no avail. The brochure piped up, "Hey, now you don't need an envelope! Just put the check into the ATM!"

"Thanks, I got that from the pictures," I retorted, "but I like the envelope. It keeps my money away from other people's money." Also, in my head, there is a little gnome that sits behind the ATM and takes everything that isn't in an envelope, but I didn't feel like explaining that to a brochure.

The ATM laughed a hearty laugh, and slapped me hard on the back. "It's time to enter the 21st century, Kristen." I was a little worried the ATM was calling me by my name until realized it was on my ATM card.

Finally, double teamed by an overzealous brochure AND an intimidating ATM, I surrendered, but not without mumbling about "newfangled contraptions" and "doohickies."

If I see a gnome walking around with more bling than normal, I'm gonna be pissed.


context has a healthy fear of gnomes.
  • Current Music
    The Fifth Element
rainbow
  • deaana

Taking the doctor's advice

uawildcatgrl's doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated

"...just think in colors; Fill your plate with bright colors; greens, yellows, reds, etc."

I went right home and ate an entire bowl of M&M's and sure enough, I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy.

QWP. Context is friend-locked and eating multi-colored M&Ms.

Voldemort is really the King of Pop!

dreaming_faerie posts this comment at stupid_free in response to "n"-word wank involving an analogy to Harry Potter:

You know, Harry Potter can teach us muggles a lot.

I mean if you think about it, Voldemort = n*****! He's light skinned with no nose that's after a kid. He's Michael Jackson! Oh that crazy Voldemort!


Collapse )is envisioning Voldemort and his Death Eaters in the "Thriller" video.
tea

(no subject)

crossbow1 sums up the lessons Harry learns in each of the books:

S/PS
Harry: What just happened here?
Dumbledore: All you need is love.

CoS
Dumbledore: Well, love and courage. And, you know, a whomping great sword.

PoA
Dumbledore: And loyalty. Our three weapons are love, courage, loyalty, and time-travel.


Context did not expect the Spanish Inquisition. Is also spoilery & friends-locked. QWP.