July 25th, 2007


(no subject)

onlylisa will either end up on a current affairs show, or with her own naughty dvd ;).

"Now I'll tell you the circumstances leading up to it:

Quads naturally get sore bums from sitting on them all day and can cause wounds due to lack of blood flow.

I started to hit his bum cause it looked a bit pale.

He said: You just do that cause you like spanking me.

I said: Don't be ridiculous, I'm doing it to get the blood flowing...now stop whining and tell me what a naughty boy you've been.

Context is not the Messiah, but is a very naughty boy.

F-Locked and QWP.
  • jaie

shaysdays wants Mike Rowe

Potty training, cleaning the kitchen floor, scraping play-do out of carpet, scrubbing paint off a kitchen table, getting hair dye off the tub walls, and scooping the cat litter would be immeasurably more fun if Mike came to help.

"Today I'm here with Shay. Shay is a house wrangler."
"Good morning, Mike."
"So, what have you got planned for us today, Shay?"
"Well, Mike, today we're going to try to run a household while my son runs around wrecking everything we do or starting new fires to put out."
"And that's your son there... with no pants on, a pirate hat, and an eyepatch... brandishing a yardstick."
"That's right, Mike."
"Okay then. Hello, there, I'm Mike."
"I a pirate! You a mermaid!" *stabs Mike and runs away, peeing*
*looks at camera* "This... is going to get ugly."

Context is a dirty job.

Yarn boobs.

(no subject)

setissma's porn is being undermined by conservative chickens:

I appear to have gotten an abstinence-only version of Microsoft Office; Word doesn't think the word "condom" exists, and suggestions include "condominium" and "condiment" and also "cordon," which I've never actually heard on its own, merely as a part of cordon sanitaire and cordon bleu.

Somehow I feel a chicken dish isn't going to have quite the same effect.