June 30th, 2007

the__seeker has many lucrative ideas for the pet market

The pet store we went to today had many rabbits but no guinea pigs. I suggested the possibility of purchasing a rabbit and removing its ears to make a guinea pig, but apparently animals do not work that way. You also cannot chainsaw a horse to make a pony, or staple kittens together to make a lion. Speaking of kittens: People complain about fur coats because of the fact that animals have to die to make them. I think everyone would be a lot happier if instead the animals were just heavily sedated,somehow glued together, and then worn as a cloak. Imagine how warm you'd be, even in the dead of winter, with a layer of softly mewling kittens draped over your body like a rug that has bones in some places. When you take the coat off, simply administer adrenaline, and the newly wakeful kittens will detach themselves and frolic playfully. I can see no possible downsides to my latest invention. Also: convenient snackfood. And before you complain about my idea, just remember that everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Murderer.

QWP. Originally appeared here.
『DOGS』 not just tobacco in those cigs

dovil comments on fandom's sex-obsessed tendencies.

Fandom is a small yappy dog that clings to your leg and just holds on and wont stop humping itself silly. You can hold up a stick to throw, offer to take it for a walk, but no, it just wants to keep desperately clinging on and humping away.

Fanfiction: the place where sexual frustration and repressed desire gets channeled and tv characters get all sex the writers aren't having.

Context would like some plot with that.