June 21st, 2007

nice to be wrong about people

pouringsand talks about hiring fairs...

My trainer was talking to me about how wacky a hiring fair can be, that the weirdest people shamble out of the woodwork. I told him about the person I was interviewing once who made sure to put down exactly how much money he had stolen from his previous employer on his personality survey. (I applaud his honesty, mind you, but, um...)

My trainer trumped everything I have ever encountered, however. He had an applicant at a hiring fair look up at him quite seriously, with furrowed brow, and ask this:

"What's the technical term for getting caught smoking crack in the parking lot?"

Not even missing a beat, my trainer replied, "Unemployable."

  • Current Mood
    amused amused
\m/ yeah

(no subject)

benchilada, being both a writer and an editor, has things to say:

Look, I was an English major.
I have two freelance jobs: writing and editing.
I enjoy reading properly written things.


Ending a sentence with a preposition: First, insert crude sexual joke about the word “dangling” here. Second, oh come-the-fuck ON! Do you not understand what the person is saying? Do you not recognize that when the exceptions to a rule nearly equal the proper applications there’s something fundamentally wrong? I refuse to look over everything I write to be certain that something you understand can be changed into something you can’t understand. What do I need to do that for? Oops, my bad. For what do I need to do that, you fucking wanker?

Context is even more hysterical and oh so cheeky!
  • degram

ooo, a reason to post OMG

cashbox shares (QWP) some exciting information:

"Freedom Williams, late of C+C Music Factory, is the VP and majority owner of a minor-league professional basketball team called the Atlanta Krunk. RandBall discusses this with Freedom Williams.

this is obviously some sort of cultural indicator of something. if i ever figure out what, i'll get back to you.

also: the team was originally known as the Atlanta Krunk Wolverines. kindly take a moment to ponder the existence of a crunk wolverine. and then another moment to gather the pieces of your UTTERLY BLOWN MIND."

Context has krunk in his system, and MAY be pervertedly suicidal.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative Freedom is Sex0rs.
bug report

iDiot support

eridun repies to a thread on my LJ about customer service, from the provider's POV:

My very first help desk call.. I'll never forget it.

Me: DCE how can I help you?
User: I'm having a problem with my computer.
Me: What kind of computer is it?
User: pink.
Me: A pink iMac?
User: I guess.
Me: What seems to be the problem?
User: My mouse doesn't work.
Me: Is it plugged in?
User: duh! yes!
Me: and is the keyboard plugged into the computer?
User: double duh! yeah!
Me: Ok, and is the computer plugged in?
User: it's icky with spiders back there! I'm not going down there!
Me: Miss, please, is the computer plugged in?
User: ugh, you're sucky. lemme looksee...
*rummaging and shuffling*
User: you suck. yea, it's plugged in. i found my srunchie though!
Me: Good. Now, what do you see on the screen?
User: just me!
Me: Miss?
User: i see me - I'm smiling!
Me: your background - ok. See if the cursor will move...
User (cutting in): no silly! I see me! talking on the phone! I look cute.
Me: (aside) oh god.
Me: Ok, please turn the computer on.
User: um... ok... um....
Me: That's the little round button on the keyboard at the top.
User: I knew that silly billie!
Me: Of course.
*ding of mac starting up*
User: It's still not working.
Me: give it a moment
User: well i want to go buy pink stuff!
Me: of course.
*time passes, she's snapping her gum*
User: It works! You're smart! Wow, like magic all over the phone and stuff! It's like you can see me...
Me: Thank you for calling.

oh yeah - kinda set the tone for the whole 3 years I worked there...

Context is a call center.
  • Current Mood
    more coffee for me please
Morning Star

(no subject)

believeitup wants a dog.

Aww, puppies on Ellen ♥ Hee, I love border collies but I just straight up refuse to have a pet smarter than me, good lord. Border collies are like those kids in high school who get picked as scholar athletes and get tons of scholarships and have perfect bodies because of all the sports they play but even though you know you should hate them, you just can't. Not for me. I need a stupid breed like a... what's a stupid breed? Tanyaaaaaaaaaa, help. I need a stupid breed, and not stupid like golden retrievers are stupid-but-jolly-and-well-meaning, like Ryan Seacrest. I need an authentically stupid dog to bring humor into my life. Or maybe not stupid, but lazy, like a bulldog. I wouldn't mind a bulldog that was smart enough to learn how to open a door but a) couldn't reach (I would probably wet myself laughing if my at-this-point-imaginary bulldog tried to jump up to get at a doorknob. Imagine with me: *wheezegrumblelaunchTHUD* Sara: *giggles* Dog: *grumblelaunchTHUDsnort* Sara: *chokes on laughter*, etc.) and b) couldn't be bothered. A dog after my own heart, except for the drool. Sara doesn't do drool.

QWP and and all that. FLocked.
opinion, thinking, happy

Are gripings on Marvel Comics' "Civil War" considered "old hat" yet?

But even if they are... this quote from shortpacked is just too damn good.

The problem is, current cape books AREN'T challenging anybody's views about civics. They're challenging my tolerance of people who think they're challenging anybody's views about civics by having a half-assed attempt at discussion which is clearly a one-sided vendetta.

Context is pretty much what you'd expect, related to the recent comic.
  • jaie

strix_an_stones has some issues with parenting and parents.

My family seems to think that my husband and I are a bit insane about not wanting to leave the teenaged male at home alone. While I can understand and appreciate their belief that we are "coddling" the boy, we aren't. We're concerned that the freak will do something loopy and either burn the house down or raid our adult movie drawer, again.

Mostly, I remember the things that my brother did between the age of 11 and just last year and cringe at the notion of leaving anything male home alone. My husband has proven his ability to not destroy things over the past 16 years so he's got my trust.

It hit me today when my mom took me to the post office and I kept trying to hurry her (we left the teen playing World of Warcraft) and she got snarky and asked why? The first thing out of my mouth was the time my brother, age 11, was left at home alone for a whopping 8 minutes. Mom had to get me to the gym and dad was on his way home from work - we passed one another so we know the time difference. Even if the old man paused to buy cigarettes he was only 7 miles from the house when we saw him. Upon arriving home, my dad discovered no less than four ambulances and three State Police cruisers. It seems my brainy baby brother got the craving for carrot in his salad. Instead of slicing one or just using the peeler to make shavings, he stuck it in the coffee grinder, over-riding the security feature with a fork and used his hand to press said carrot into the whirling blades. He got cut. He called the neighbor screaming in pain and fear. She had no idea what happened so she called the police and reported screaming and blood and mayhem.

Mom brought me home without further comment.

Context doesn't share her porn. Locked, tied down, and beaten. QWP

  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative