June 7th, 2007

Hugz - submitted to ICHC by Mangoflush

Bad subconcious, bad!

"The one I had this morning was that I, of all people, was the official spider killer - for New Kids on the Block when they were at the height of their popularity. The reason I had to kill the spiders was because if they didn't get killed an hour after they hatched (or whatever spiders do), they grew into giant sized and would eat people. But only if the people were made into pizza.

I officially fired my subconcious mind after that dream."
From the lovely wings_unfurling.

Context knows it's got the right stuff, baby. Oh oh, oh oh oh!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
GP with saddle

(no subject)

99catsaway has a question about introducing a new pet:

I just got a cheetah =)
Any tips on getting her and my 4 gazelle girls to get along?
At the moment she's just about as scared of them as they are of her, lol.

A reply in response to someone wanting to intro their new cat to their rats.

Context. FLOCKED, QWP.
  • Current Music
    guinea pigs making noises
makeawish (by piperredfern)

zeppo provides helpful instructions for dealing with stress . . .

DIY - Rage control

Tools needed:
A large piece of uncooked meat, you may also use a large flat vegetable, but is should be very juicy (firm tofu also works well)
A George Forman grill or two pans, one slightly smaller than the other.
Assorted spices, sauces - pick your favorites

Heat up grill or larger pan with some oil until it is very very hot.
Throw meat or vegetable onto the grill or pan.
Close the lid to the grill or put smaller pan on top of meat/vegetable
Lean on grill lid or use force to weigh down top pan.
Over the loud sizzling noise scream the following at the top of your voice:

"Oh my God I cannot take the horrible horrible burning!!! Please [insert your name here] please make it stop!!! I am so sorry for the transgressions I committed against you! I should have known better, the pain is terrible; I may die from the shock!!!
The pain - the excruciating pain!!!!"

Check your enemy's hand for doneness.
Remove from heat.
Season to taste.

Context goes well with a nice Chianti.
  • aardy

Talk... urr... Ride Like a Pirate day

cap60552 had far, far too much fun as a pirate at the Port Washington Pirate Festival:

I was wandering through one of the tents Saturday afternoon, and happened to overhear a conversation between a father and his son.

Son: "Dad, Give me a piggy back ride!"

Dad: "It'll cost you a buck..."

Son: "Aww comeone dad"

Dad: "Nope, It'll cost you a buck..."

At this point I couldn't resist... I reached into my pouch, pulled out a gold dollar coin, and sauntered over to them. "I'll be taken ye up on that offer then..." The father turned and looked at me, did a little blustery laugh. His wife looked on half laughing, half dumbfounded, and the son stared up in awe... At that the father sized me up, shrigged his shoulders and said "OK, Hop on"

Collapse )

Hoist the Jolly Context and run out the cannons for a broadside of even more merriment!

So very true.

morriganslayde lays it down:

Dear Obnoxious Lady,

It should no longer be called an 'I'Pod. I am in the back of the plane and you are in the front. I can hear your EveryonePod from here. If you insist on listening to really bad music so loud, it is no longer considered a personal music player, I will have to get my iFist and shove it up UAss. If I can tell the difference between which Evanescence song you're listening to, it is too loud. YourPod will now become MyPod and I will respect it and the people around me by making the sure it is at IVolume.

QWP. Turn it down, kay?

alienfox goes to the shops.

He was shopping with his mum who, incidentally, had a face like a melted welly. She fixed me with a look that either said "You freaky little freakman, I hate you" or "help me, I have a wasp stuck up my fanny".

Might I surmise, police officers, that if I were attempting to traffic heroin, or commit an act of international terrorism at Elephant and Castle, that I would have chosen a less conspicuous outfit than a plastic red miniskirt and leopard print wellies?

They actually asked me if I was on drugs and I actually replied, "No, I only dress like I am".
- It's just a normal day for context.

agentmaly mocks badly worded questionaires.

Other questions and options included: 'Why did you prefer the original Hotmail better?' and one of its wonderful possible answers, 'It took me longer to do basic tasks on the Hotmail than it did on Hotmail.'

I should've just answered in the free response box that 'I just liked Hotmail more betterer than the Hotmail, which I did not prefer.'

Context doesn't like the Hotmail.

QWP, by the way - just in case she hasn't made the entry public yet.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused