March 31st, 2007

gay invasion

in ur base bombin ur troops

In which bolddeciever dislikes Army advertising:

There's an espescially awful Army recruitment ad on right now, which features two guys playing a videogame, when a soldier on the screen suddenly looks at them and says something like "You guys are good. You want a REAL challenge?"

Now, that's pretty awful on its own, but even worse? The image of a few poor saps pinned down somewhere asking their commander where they're going to respawn.


And then in the comments:

q13_exe: fucking campers

bolddeciever: INSURGENT GRIEFERS @ FALUJAH GANKING NOOBS NEED HELP!!!
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(no subject)

kyraille finds a very unpleasent surprise...

SCENE: 12:30 a.m., a dark bedroom.

The door bursts open, flooding the room with light from the hallway, and a dark, human-shaped... shape stumbles inside and fumbles for a lightswitch. The room is illuminated, revealing both KAT and a huge mess of book piles, clothes, and artistic detrius.

KAT drops her stuff on the floor, kicks off her boots, and putters around on the computer for a while before walking into the bathroom.

Cue porno music She takes off one of her knee-high socks, and is immediately frozen in shock.

KAT: WHY IS THERE A SPIDER ON MY LEG? OH MY GOD IT WAS IN MY SOCK WHAT.
SPIDER: AIR!!

The SPIDER, happy to have freedom after being trapped between leg and sock for six hours, scuttles around in glee on KAT's shin.

SPIDER: Hey, you should really shave your legs, this is like trying to wade through the fucking Black Forest.
KAT: NYAAGH.

KAT does a panicked mad flaily dance and the SPIDER is catapulted from KAT's leg to the bathroom wall.

SPIDER: THAT WAS UNNECESSARY.
KAT: I'm sorry, this relationship just isn't going to work. I have to kill you now.
SPIDER: Come on, baby, can't we work this ou-eeeAAUUGH!

KAT squishes the SPIDER in a wad of toilet paper and flushes it down the toilet, hoping that its ghost won't try to crawl up her ass at some point in the future. She shudders and continues undressing.


Context's skin is crawling. Literally.
Benedick

(no subject)

jonquil sums up reaction to Country Music Television deep-sixing broadcasting the Miss America Pageant:

Miss America: Come back to us, Americans! Glorify all that is admirable about the quintessential representative American girl!
America: Eeh.
Miss America: Come and marvel at the most beautiful American women!
America: Angelina. Jolie.
Miss America: But she's charitable! The winner will spend the year raising consciousness about some worthy cause or other!
America: Angelina. Jolie.
Miss America: And talented! Really talented! Look at her talent!
America: (whispers) Angelina Jolie. (full voice) Seriously, I have been waiting all my life to watch somebody do the hula on rollerskates. And you know there's a big aftermarket for that little "talent".
Miss America: But she's pure! Totally pure! No pregnancies, no marriages, and we all know what that's a marker for!
America: So was Britney, and we all know how that turned out.
Miss America: She will be carefully chaperoned throughout her reign to make sure she never, ever gets to be impure!
America: You know, you're kind of creepy. Right. Ask your typical redblooded American girl whether she'd rather be pure or making the devilbacked monkey with Brad Pitt.

Miss America: ...



QWP, context feels pretty, oh so pretty ...