March 24th, 2007

Mine came giftwrapped, even!

skellington1 drives Doozer to Canadia:

Doozer: "How close is Canada?"
I: "Closer than it was when we left Olympia."
D: "But HOW far is it?"
I: "less than thirty miles."
D: "But how will you know..."
I: "LOOK. I'll keep driving straight north until you see a little box with a Canadian in. After THAT, it's Canada."

-- fifteen minutes later --

D: "Oh! The they actually are in little boxes!"
I: "Shhh, don't say it while I roll the window down..."


Context is there yet. But that's the whole post.
entrails

doctor_paradox fills in the intro post at naturalwitches

Name you want to be called: Dr. Paradox, Doc, et.al

Religion/Spiritual path: Slapstick Existentialism to ZenDruidry (The art of worshiping trees that aren't there) to 2nd degree Wiccan priest

What your powers are: Tarot, 'seeing', this and that, the mystic spit take.

How you use your gifts: I make it up as I go along and see what works for the moment.


QWP from here.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Cartoon me

Job opportunities...

In response to this post giving details of phone sex vacancies (yes, really), spooforbrains reveals something about himself:

I used to do a text messaging version of this. Our official title was "Content provider for adult messaging service" but we generally referred to ourselves as text sluts.

It was a good second job. It was £5 an hour, and I could do it from the sofa. So, bear that in mind the next time you're having a hot text message based affair with a girl you found in an ad in the back of the Sport. It's quite likely to be a male, out-of-work IT consultant from Birmingham.
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(no subject)

shaysdays blinds us with hilarity and lack of skin pigment:


Damn. I'm Whitey McWhiterson. I couldn't be more white if you set leeches after me. I get lost in stacks of paper unless I'm wearing abright shirt and lipstick. I tell people I don't like to ski because it's fucking COLD, but really I'm afraid I'll get trampled by folks who think I'm a bitchin' shalom mound. I haven't gotten a tan in ten years* and when I put on a swimsuit, people ask me to put on a coverup- not so I don't burn, but so they don't. George Hamilton took out a restraining order against me and I've never even met the man. I make seedlings bend toward me on shady days. I wear SPF Terry Bathrobe and Socks. Goth kids ask me for tips on foundation. So do zombies. When I blush, cars stop on the road in confusion. When I was born my mom would tape bows to my head so she could find me in the sheets. My dad used to hold me under his chin to even out his tan. My siblings keep getting me "Powder" for Christmas even though I've given away 10 copies already. I am white, sister. Gah. I DREAM of "Ivory."

(*Both my parents got skin cancer, so Mr Sun and I broke up.)