March 9th, 2007

No actual spoilers were harmed during the making of this post.

On fanficrants, penguinsteps gives us a sample account of the true showdown between Harry and Voldemort.

And it was the final battle. The surrounding aurors stared in O_O, unable to break past the advancing swarm of >:] Death Eaters, to reach what would be the final show down. Panic and 8^0 had erupted in Hogsmeade.

Meanwhile, in a fierce staring match, Harry squinted- I mean, Harry >_<. Voldie stood in front of him, (wondering whether he'd get a second chance to 'poke' his favorite bane-of-existance. (A/N: Sadly, no emoticon exists to successfully express this.)
This was the moment.
Raising his wand with a look of >:E, a defiant Harry aimed at his opponent. This was what he had been trained for.
But Voldie, trying to work out whether he'd chosen the right robes to suit his ass in this moment of glory-to-be, made a fatal mistake. Tripping, on the hem of his robes, a falling Lord-of-all-evil impaled himself upon his own wand.
Feeling like a right :F, Voldie hardly had time to O____o, before he exploded in a flash of green light.

The Death Eaters, D: at such a lame defeat, realised they were no match for the evidently powerful black haired youth that had- up till this moment- relentlessly pervaded their master's dreams. Uhgh.. Nightmares. They shuffled with looks of >>; to give themselves up to the aurors.

!_? thought (-0_0-)??? How could he explain the true reason for Voldemort's death to his growing crowd of 'Golden-Boy' supporters? With an uncharacteristic ¬.¬ glance, he came to the conclusion that it might be best to... 'edit' the specifics of the Dark Lord's demise.

Context needs moar emoticons
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A mental picture is worth a thousand words.

IT wunderkind camwyn is having trouble with early DST.

ebony14: I no longer work in IT, but we've been getting the "Daylight Savings is changing; the world is NOT ending." emails from IT for the past 10 days or so. I think they may have actually convinced themselves by this point.

camwyn: The world's not ending here, either. It's just forming itself into a gigantic hemorrhoid: you can still get your shit done, but it's going to hurt for a while, and there may be blood.

Context is cranky due to missing an hour of sleep.

Seen on the new community note_to_wow...

Dear World of Warcraft,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sean, and you do not know me, but you do know someone I care about. You know her by a variety of names, usually on the Silverhand server; the little Level 18 Rogue who just picked up her Thunderhead Hippogrif loot last night, that's her. I know, she's growing up so fast, it's as if only yesterday she was just a level eight... perhaps because yes, that was only yesterday. I do not play you, so we've never spoken before, but I wanted you to know one thing: this is my fiancee, and I was here first. We just moved in together again this past January, just me, her and the two cats. Then she went to Pittsburgh to reclaim a few things from her ex, including her dog and her computer, but still... things were still okay, even if I'm now the one taking care of this dog I don't even like.

But you... you go too far. She begged and begged for me to get her a wireless card so she could use her computer on the Internet finally, and that sounded ultimately fair rather than have her borrowing my laptop all night long to check out wedding planning stuff and her emails. Little did I know that you had your claws in her even then, and everything she said was just to get back together with you. She said she was sick yesterday, and begged to stay home with her and take care of her; after three extra hours of sleep, however, she seemed to be rather effectively cured, and spent the next twelve hours with you. Apparently "sick" meant "I'm only a level eight, I need to get bigger so bad things can't squish me anymore!".

I own a hammer, and a back yard into which you could disappear with no questions asked. If I do not get my fiancee back within one month's time, just remember it is I who will have destroyed you, not some Level 70 fighter with Epic bling out the hoo-ha. Just a man with a hammer who loves his fiancee and knows that you see her more than I do, even though she sleeps beside me every night.

Context is here, but that's it. A reader of "Note to Cat" asks where his fiancee went and why she stays out late all night.

Cinema Magic!

From a locked post by coyotegoth, QWP:

For all that Black Snake Moan has been getting amazingly good reviews from those on my flist who've actually seen it, I can't seem to shake the mental image of Quentin Tarantino smacking his hand against his forehead, and saying, "Damnit- why didn't I think of that? I could've had Uma Thurman chained to that radiator!"

Ain't no context, cos y'all just read it. :-D
Define interesting

No Jackie Chans were harmed in the making of this metaquote.

eveforward is asked to name which fictional characters could take James T. Kirk in a fight:

8. Jackie Chan. Now wait, you say. Jackie Chan isn’t a fictional character! My friends, he totally is. In fact, Jackie Chan is actually something similar to a ‘toon’. He was accidentally transported into our dimension by a sass-talking magic dragon in his own world, and now he eeks out a living making movies where he can take advantage of the fact that he’s not entirely compatible with our world’s physical laws. And he could beat Kirk senseless with his own toupee and make you laugh as he does it.

Context maintains that gravity is more of a guideline, really.
alien christ

ladylike where it counts

yogurtrifle works for the Canadian government reading meters at car dealerships.

So anyways, I'm at a KIA (lol kia) carlot today and I have to say (because this matters to the story) I'm a good looking woman. This one salesman won't stop pestering me.

Him: Hey, sweetie :3 You workin' hard? Huh?
Me: 9_9;; *doesn't answer, just keeps checking cars and writing down info on checkboard, hoping he'll go away*
Him: *following me* Hey, honey, you sure you know where to look on cars? Cars can be really complicated, you know.

And at this point I'm just like "You sexist fuck" in my head so I'm thinking of what would horrify him.

Him: Hey, baby, are you gonna say something back? :3
Me: *grunts a no*
Him: :3 That wasn't very ladylike, darlin'.
Me: *in my deepest, roughest voice possible* I ain't really that ladylike where it counts, if you know what I mean.

He almost pissed himself and he practically ran back into the showroom. It was awesome.

here, f-locked, QWP
Usopp - Spanish Inquisition

(no subject)

dorknessrising's been rewatching some of the classics, apparently. :D

After poking around some old fandom craziness -- WHY NO, I DID NOT WATCH SOME OLD DBZ EPISODES, SO SIREE BOB -- I can only conclude that Dragonball Z was Akira Toriyama's super top secret hush-hush plot to brainwash Japanese boys into eating their vegetables, changing their underwear regularly, and taking marching band in high school.

From here, f-locked, QWP.
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I am starstuff

dgg has a view on the evolution of gamers

But sweet jesus, some guys I’ve gamed with have still to make the evolutionary jump to taking showers and learning not to stare too long at cleavage.

Context would rather die than suffer through a homo!Embrace.

(no subject)

I didn't just cheat on my diet last night, I brought my infidelity into our home, made sweet, sweet love to to it on our kitchen table and then sent it home wearing my diet's favorite leather jacket.

At least when the weather's nicer I can walk the guilt off, but as it is I'm just sitting here with my belly bulge silently chastising me as a faithless whore.

Context is a bad, bad girl!
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