February 8th, 2007

doomcat both approves and disapproves [r

He said "man salami".

Chapter Ten , in which Pooh Bear and orbasm Enter An Interesting Situation...

Professional and curteous, he whispers a hushed "here we go" and briskly but methodically strokes down on my pelvic frontal crotch area, with the back of his hands like so, careful to keep them a good 12 inches apart from each other - careful to avoid anything that could possibly feel like man salami - and erupts back to his feet. With a nod and a smile, Officer Jim stands up and declares, loud and proud to Team Security behind me, "he's clear!"

...in which orbasm gets to ask the Nice Officer, "ok, are you at least gonna make me breakfast after this?"

Edited, upon request, to add more context. Full context is a tad touchy-feely, but damn hilarious.
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Random {we are going to die}

awdrey_gore is experiencing some bloating...

I now have nothing that fits. Sweats are too tight. Bras? I could weep. My lacy boy shorts left lacy imprints in my ever increasing ass. The effect was not dissimilar to what would happen if one took a bunch of cream-colored sculpey and pressed it into a doily then lifted it up to see the pattern underneath.

{snip!}

If my hair stays all brittle like this, I will march down to the mall, get one of those monstrosities that are sold in the kiosk next to the ProActiv cart (which may be stop number 2 if it comes to that, followed by a visit to Lane Bryant to get some stretch, leopard-print pants) and don it like I'm Dolly Parton on a bender.

- QWP.
Below the Root: Pense the monkey!

(no subject)

Context - buddleia likes HEEEEEEEEEEEEEroes

I just saw Heroes: Distractions and and my reaction was pretty much EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *runs in circles*. I have since checked out a lot of the cut-tags on my wonderful, considerate friendslist and there was a lot of intelligent comment and reasoned analysis of this episode. I nodded wisely at each smart thing people said. Despite considerable amounts of training in said intelligent comment and reasoned analysis, my actual reaction is still a fairly unsubtle and perhaps unsupported EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!*runs in circles*
Craft Disturbing Mental Image

lady_zip is looking forward to moving for a few unusual reasons...

Omg guess what I totally just realized about my moving to Kingston!?!

I'M GOING TO BE LIVING SOON IN A PLACE WITHOUT A DOG THAT CHEWS THE CROTCH OUT OF MY PANTS!

*does the intact pants dance*




Which is not to say I won't miss my dog, I will, just not the part where she wants to devour any fabric that's touched my crotch.





That is all. *dances off*

Entire post verbatim
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