February 2nd, 2007

Surrounded by MORONS

Deadly, vicious attack...gerbil?

Over in C_S, raisedbymoogles comes up with a new and improved attack animal.

Every store should have its very own attack gerbil for dealing with problem customers. Just imagine it:

EB: *bitch rave rant two cents I'll have your jobs fishsticks!*
Clerk: I have a Code Fluffy at the customer service desk. Repeat, Code Fluffy at the customer service desk.
Fluffy: *scampers out of the Back Room, a tiny little cape streaming from its shoulders! Fluffy to the rescue!*
EB: *rar horrible customer service Better Business Bureau ponies wtf!* *is mauled!*


EB: Those evil customer service people mauled me with a vicious attack gerbil!
Fluffy: *is cute and sweet and playful*
Police: ...off to the psych ward with you.

Context is sharpening its big, pointy teeth. QWP, ATP, OPP, ETC.
  • Current Music
    "Defying Gravity", Wicked OBC
amused, spike and giles, generic humor

it's legal in the EU!

crevette is having a wee obsession with an underaged actor:

Based on my taste in men lately, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict my future holds an orange jumpsuit, an ankle locator bracelet and a personalized web page on the Florida Sex Offenders registry. (I wonder if I can trick it out like on my Myspace. I'd make it really sparkly and have Abba music playing in the background--and not a Midi because Midis suck--and then Abba can become the soundtrack for the hormonal middle-aged female sex offender because it's very bright and bouncy and outdated, just like me. I'll customize the curser into a piece of candy or a puppy or something and then I'll call it MyBADTOUCHspace. It'll even have a digital doll that young men (and Orlando Bloom who always gets free membership even if he is now over 30 and no longer makes me feel quite so dirty) can easily show the authorities where I touched them in order to expedite the prosecution's case.)

QWP, Context will be eighteen in about a year.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
da fuck
  • bynkii

No love for the city on the hill

At least not from poorheather for the recent brouhahar, (Bahston joke there), about "teh evul lite-brites":

While I'm on the subject of hating you, overpriced city... Shut the hell up about your Paaats and your RED SUUOX. The only goddamned time I want to hear about your Green Monster is if you're the Incredible Hulk and I'm talking condoms with you. The Yankees are better, and a lucky year doesn't change that. Yeah, I said it.

You wouldn't like context when she's angry, and believe me, she's pissed
  • Current Music
    The Lite-Brite theme song
Malcolm Reynolds - Firefly

(no subject)

elysesewell discusses the mysticism of shopping in Hong Kong:

Do you ever feel tortured by internal conflict? Like there's a constant battle between light and darkness in your psyche? Like only one side of your consciousness is capable of action and the other half is just shrieking, "Folly! Folly!"? Like part of you is going, "Don't waste your money" and another part is whispering, "Buy some of those dried lizards. Do it. Do it!"

Context compelled by the power of the Holy Gecko.