January 21st, 2007


To love The People...you must love The Pie...

In blackfolk, bpthought denounces black people not liking Sweet Potato Pie:

There oughta be a blood test you can take to root that one out. You could pass that stuff on to your kids. Be careful.

FO REAL! Blood test. Lie detector test. somethin. Before you know it, our neighborhoods will be all amok and crazy with pierogies and stuff.

Lie detector test person: Do you love her?
Fiance: Yes
Lie detector: -----------------
Lie Detector test person: Will you cherish her?
Fiance: Yes
Lie detector: -----------------------
Lie detector test person: Will you eat all things Black?
Fiance: Um.... :::sweats buckets and stutters::: yes?
Lie detector: ------^^---------^^^-------^^^^^^^^^^^^

Fiance drops through floor.
Will you read the context?  You better flatline...
  • Current Mood
    amused avoiding the hole in the floor

"Oh, the pain!"

Sorry, wrong Dr. Smith.

[E. E. "Doc"] Smith provides plenty of "the future isn't what it used to be" moments. A traditional favorite is the part where in two adjoining sentences, a class of graduating Lensmen are told (a) they've been selected among other things for their resistance to noxious drugs and (b) each man will find his favorite brand of cigarettes in his chair arm.

-the_blue_fenix is starkly sucked into the Lensmen universe.

Context's Lens and DeLameter were confiscated by Homeland Security

(no subject)

sabotabby deconstructs Elle magazine, one section @ a time:

Style: "Messy hair shows that you're not trying too hard to impress."

This, according to Elle, is how you get messy hair: "Wash and condition the hair, then massage a hair-thickening lotion and a mousse into the scalp to starch up the hair and hold the style. Blow-dry the hair, using fingers to lift it away from the scalp. Gather it into a ponytail, and fasten it with an elastic. Twist the pony into a loose bun, securing it with pins. Mess it up by lightly running your hands from the bun toward your face, freeing stray hairs."

According to me, this is how you get messy hair: "Lie down for a bit. Have sex. If you aren't into really athletic sex, maybe go for a walk on a windy day. I just saved you about $100 in hair care products."
  • Current Mood
    sick sick

(no subject)

My brother taellosse makes an observation on a recent advertisement:

Have you seen the new Orville Redenbacher (sp?) commercial? Who's bright idea was that? It was moderately odd when they were re-running ancient b/w commercials originally recorded when the guy was actually still alive. It is FAR creepier to be created some sort of horrific CG animated zombie version of the poor man to do the ads. He doesn't move right, his proportions are off. It looks like they created some sort of animatronic body for him and then pasted on a CG head that was one size too large. An even more disturbing possibility is that the body is that of a real person, and they just replaced his face with the animated one.

Let the old man stay dead, will you people? Bringing him back from the grave doesn't make me want to buy your popcorn. It makes me want to get a steel helmet to protect my brains from his voracious, undead hunger.

Context is looking for its steel helmet, too.

(no subject)

copperbadge got a letter...

Thank you for your interest in [Literary Agency]. Our agency has changed direction. For the foreseeable future, [Agency] will consider for representation only manuscripts comprising adult fiction and nonfiction about animals, including companion animals/pets, feral animals, working and service animals, domestic and farm animals, laboratory animals, caged animals and wild animals.

It's -- well, it's not so much that the rejection stings, mind you, since the manuscript I sent them was not about animals and I've had far worse. It's more the surreality of the thing. What makes a literary agent decide that all she wants to handle are animal stories? Especially since within the animal niche they're apparently accepting for consideration anything and everything to do with animals? What kind of life-changing epiphany causes that? Conversion to PETA? Saved from a burning house by the family hamster? Saved from conversion to PETA by a burning family hamster?

These are the questions that torment me. :D

Context has beady little eyes... (public post)

(no subject)

wllw posted in fanficrants

Note: Here I'm talking mostly about man-on-man action. That is because people didn't really pay much attention to woman-on-woman action back then — Greek poetesses who lived on the isle of Lesbo aside. Frankly, people did not pay a lot of attention to women period. Sort of like in fandoms, really.

context feels ignored, but at least has permission to be here.