December 12th, 2006

Continuum

(no subject)

khukuri and friend are playing FFXII:

"I, er... it's your turn to play!"
"[puts down book] Where are you up to? ...Are they those horses that can massacre you?"
"Yes."
"Five of them?"
"Yes."
"When did you last save?"
"Two hours ago."
"Who's still alive?"
"Penelo."
"..."
[Penelo raises Basch and Vaan, and leaves them as bait while pissbolting to the nearest exit]
"You're the worst team player ever."
"Yeah, well, now we're away from the doom horses, and- HO SHIT ZOMBIES."
"BASCH AND VAAN ARE PISSED, PENELO."



Public post, context is here: http://khukuri.livejournal.com/62435.html#cutid1
Me: Psychedelic default icon

At least they weren't into melons.

Oldies, but goodies. downloadstone shares an unexpectedly zesty experience on brps_adult:

"One of my newest rp partners asked if I was okay with doing lemons. Since I assumed lemons meant porn, as in the whole lemon/lime/citrus style of rating, I said sure, why not. I'm not a fan of rping smut just for the sake of smut, but it can be a fun way of playing with character development.

So one day a sex scene does pop up, and our characters are getting all hot and sweaty. And it's a pretty well played sex scene, in character and all.

And then out of nowhere he shoves a lemon. Up my characters ass. No lube, no OOC mention, no nothing. I mean, they weren’t even in a kitchen.

After several minutes of laughing my ass off and wiping the soda from the screen, I ask her OOC just what -was- that. I get a very snippy reply that I'd told her I was alright with that, and then she signs off.

Jesus, I'm still laughing about this one."

Context is a conspiracy of pornographers; QWP.
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burger king

(no subject)

From the Tales of tom_kiper: Ornery Law Student cum Part-Time Librarian

Dunno where these so-called university students think they're enrolled, but even though the library is open extended hours for finals, they're always indignantly perplexed that it isn't open (and serving up food) 24/7. (There are in fact 24/7 work areas next door, but this does nothing to placate their pampered wrath.) Even more perplexed when I explain that there are financial and logistical costs involved whenever a building is open for use.


"It says cafe in the name, shouldn't they be serving food?"
See those giant food display units that are currently locked down? They were serving food. During the daytime. Not at 2 AM. Oddly, you'll find that many places, even libraries, stop serving food by 2 AM. Perhaps you should write a letter to the Herald to complain about this unbelievable, nay, intolerable state of affairs.

"I pay money to go here!"
I pay money to go here, too. Yet the university still denies my demands for a perfumed, gold-clad eunuch attendant to wipe my ass whenever I use the facility bathroom. Why is that, I wonder. Please note, furthermore, that the mere fact that you pay tuition does not grant you a waiver from university security and safety policies. Again, so shocking as to be beyond the limit of human conception, but strangely true.



Full Entry is here. QWP
Peach - Bitch Please

(no subject)

revsphynx is taking Rudolph a tad too seriously:

Alright, let's look at this wonderful little song of prejudice, pettiness, cliquisms, and arrogant bosses that turn a blind eye to abuse.

First of all, don't fucking tell me what I'd say if I saw it. Who the hell are you to say what I'd say? Asshole.

Second, all of the other reindeer would laugh and call him names. Wow... what if he had been in a wheelchair? Would they call him names then? These are supposed to be the symbols of Christmas, of love, hope, kindness... Do they also make fun of the children Santa is delivering toys to that have disabilities or abormalities?

And what about Santa? It seems he's only willing to step in to stop the abuse when he finds a use for Rudolph. And what did he do on other foggy Christmas Eves? And how exactly was it foggy at the North Pole anyways? Wouldn't the water vapor in the air freeze? Someone a little more versed in physics and/or meteorology, can you help me out here?

So now that he has a use, they love him. This is not unlike a racist who will make an exception for one or two people that he personally knows because they are of some use to him, but maintain that the race as a whole is still somehow inferior.


Context refuses to play your racist reindeer games. QWP.
Vuja De by osnadurtha
  • orejen

Comment by conceptual_tea

"I can tell you that for every item you SEE being gnawed on, there are probably 3 that you didn't notice. Babies are gnawing monsters with arms like stretch armstrong that can reach things you'd THINK would be out of their reach. It's creepy. They also know how to zero in on the most dangerous and/or delicate thing. I swear they should be used for airport security - guaranteed to find the deadliest thing in a bag in 0.06 seconds!"

Comment to a post by angelictears in customers_suck http://community.livejournal.com/customers_suck/19890389.html?#cutid1
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    amused amused
raven tattoo

Doing the happy dance?

In reply to a post about the "War on Christmas", sunfell spoke:
Yeah, I think Christmas is winning, especially when I hear Christmas music being played before Halloween.

Christmas has not only 'won', but it is doing the end-zone celebration booty dance, the 'in your face' post-game braggery, and the ongoing taunts of superiority everywhere I look.

Happy Cookie Day.
QWP from here.

That's not a war. *This* is a war.

jsbowden steps up to take command of a "war" dragging on and on:
Listen up ladies!

We've just about got the War on Christmas wrapped up. It'll done by the end of December. As a follow up, we'll be bombing New Year's Eve. We're resolving to assasinate President's Day come the new year. There will be repression fire on the MLK divisions as a run up to the next phase. That'll be the opening maneuver in preparation for the Assault on Easter. Once Easter's nothing but a dim Memorial, we'll be shelling the Fourth of July. After that we'll take out the Labor force by carpet bombing the enemy's industrial capabilities. They have Veteran troops in reserve who'll have to be dealt with in the run up to raining down Nuclear Turkeys from Above in the final battle for Thanksgiving.

It's gonna be a busy year, and I expect nothing but 110%. I'm sure you won't let me down.

Pack your gear girls, we're moving out!
Entire post; quoted with permission.
Gun!

Yet more on the Soy -> Gay -> Fat equation

oceanica is convinced.

OMG SOY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OBESITY EPIDEMIC.

Eating tofu makes you fat! And the people who order double triple jumbo enormous cheese-slathered mayo-dripping burgers and fat-saturated strips of pure starch coated with sodium are the absolute picture of upstanding, robustly heterosexual health.

Context is friendslocked, QWP and not procrastinating, she swears!
deelieboppers sharpened

badmagic searches for more words with pejorative suffices

Ard Times
There's something that English has lost that I want back: the pejorative suffix.

Go back a few centuries, and you could create a new word by adding -ard to the end of an old one. This new word would be understood to refer to someone who did whatever the original word was, but to the point it became annoying. Someone who was drunk often enough to make you want to slap some sense into him was a drunkard. The guy with irksomely dull wits was a dullard. Bastard shares this origin, as do the obsolete dotard and lollard.

This wasn't only used to describe annoying people. The derivation of "blizzard" is blitz, lightning, and (by extension) storm, with -ard, pej. suf. So blizzard is essentially "look at that [f---king] storm."

I see the possibility for all sorts of new and much needed words:

Meetingard, an agendaless workplace gathering that will serve no other purpose than to waste hours that might have been used to get something done.

Cellard, someone who doesn't realize that the person he's talking to on the hands-free cell phone is not the only one who can hear the conversation.

Memard, someone who fills up your Friendspage with announcements that they are an elf, an INFJ, Inara from Firefly, the Sensual Lover, and have the Seduction Style of Smooth. Each of these is accompanied by a link to a picture on another site, so your browser will freeze or crash if your security settings are high. Like mine. If you wonder why I never respond to your posts, this is probably why.

Harvard, a school whose graduates have dangerously limited grasp of international politics.

Any others?
That's the whole post but the discussion got pretty interesting.
community || jeff&annie / fantasy

(no subject)

In which _imsorry discovers something about herself...

I was mad when I found out I wasn't a thespian. All because I was too lazy to fill out a form. Fill out a form to be a thespian? That's nuts! But now I've gotten so much time off from school because I'm not a thespian. So now, I love thespians!

Context is...well, that's the whole post. Friends-locked, but QWP.
  • Current Mood
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lexxie, dogs, christmas

Springer show Christmas?

felisdemens takes issue with her neighborhood's Christmas decor:

They have the most wretched nativity at the model home on the corner near my office. The, Most. Wretched.

Three awful little plywood cutouts, apparently painted with the finest exterior latex in a rainbow of colors ranging from yellow to white, propped feebly in the driveway.

We will start with the Baby Jeebus, who is a shapeless, larval white blob with a large round head/halo. Both head and halo are painted bright yellow, making one indistinguishable from the other and leaving passersby with the impression that the Messiah has a yellow beachball for a head. Or was possibly sired by the Wal Mart smiley face, explaining his total lack of limbs.

Joseph is the likely candidate for biological babydaddy, as his flowing locks have been painted the same yellow. He does appear to be a hunchback, though. His robes are painted a sullen beige, and his rudimentary face is deathly white. He is also toppling forward in possible homage to the Kwisatz Haderach Holy Infant. That, or he's passing out.

The Virgin Mary is a featureless white blob that closely resembles the Shmoo. I guess the white denotes virginity? Or maybe she's pale from all the thalidomide necessary to produce Happy Face Jesus over there.

There are no animals, stable or other trimmings. It appears that there was no room at the M&M Homes Model Inn, so the Virgin Shmoo was obliged to give birth in the cement driveway, attended by anole lizards and hapless roadkill. How ignominious. Bet that stable sounds pretty good right about now, huh?

I appreciate holiday decorations, whatever the faith. But DUDE, do you think you could make an effort to portray your holiday as a little less sordid, bleak and depressing? Maybe, y'know, give Joseph some fucking EYES? Clear the deceased possums from the edge of the driveway, perhaps? Distinguish Baby Jeebus's head from his halo so he doesn't look hydrocephalic? I'm just being picky, I know, but come on - you're motivated enough to put up a Nativity, horrifying as it might be, so why can't you expend the extra erg of effort to make it less baleful?

WHY DO YOU HATE CHRISTMAS, M&M HOMES?


QWP, Context wanted a Merry Christmas, not a Maury Christmas
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Evil Manifest
  • kdorian

(no subject)

The proscription against using prepositions at the ends of sentences was an invention by an eighteenth century amateur linguist who thought English should conform to the rules of Latin, in which one cannot use a preposition at the end of a sentence. That's also where the "don't split your infinitives" rule comes from. Unfortunately, it turns out that English is not, in fact, Latin.

fachverwirrt rails against foolish grammar rules here.
Eew!

(no subject)

cinnamonblood is dealing with a cave cricket invasion. Highlights of post:

Given their limited vision, cave crickets will often jump towards any perceived threat in an attempt to frighten it away.
AND A BLOODY GOOD JOB THEY DO OF IT, TOO!

Their large hind legs allow them to jump high and far. [citation needed]
Citation needed? Citation needed??? I got yer citation in my kitchen, motherfucker!

Change outdoor lighting to yellow or sodium vapor bulbs.
I don't know what a "sodium vapor bulb" is, but I'm gonna find out. Shit, I will put spotlights on my lawn if it'll get rid of these things! Caped super heroes will show up, thinking they've been called into action. And I will tell them to go fight the Spider Crickets.

Pick up and discard individual crickets.
PICK THEM UP!? Are you out of your mind!?

Hit insect with fly swatter or crush with shoe.
Or a phonebook. Phonebooks work really well, too.

Spray household with "ant and cockroach" insecticide in floor areas where camel crickets hide or are seen; this is a last resort of limited benefit.
Last resort? No, my last resort is to buy a dozen lizards from the pet store and let them loose in my house and hope they will EAT the crickets. That is my last resort.

Context may need to nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. QFT er, QWP. Though, QFT too certainly.