December 10th, 2006

PR || Cosmos

gramarye1971 presents: Pirates of the Caribbean 2 ...

... Dead Man's Chest/The Hunt for Red October

Because clearly, Captain Marko Ramius and the Red October will need to be called out of retirement in the US to deal with a new threat against the free world -- the late Captain Viktor Tupolev, supposedly killed when Ramius rammed his ship into the V.K. Konevalov, has teamed up with Davy Jones and the Flying Dutchman to seek revenge. Tupolev gets a new ship...and Davy Jones gets the Konevalov's full complement of submarine-launched nuclear missiles. Jack Ryan (who by this point has NOT become the president) would get dragged along for the ride as well, because it just wouldn't be a Tom Clancy novel without the Marty Stu.

We're not sure how Captain Jack Sparrow would end up getting involved, but there would have to be vodka.

Public post, context can't find the thump-thump.
deelieboppers sharpened

Madbodger sees the future of automated customer service...

Saying things like "YES ...... YES ...... CUSTOMER SERVICE ....... CUSTOMER SERVICE! ..... FIVE SEVEN BAKER THREE ALPHA OMEGA ZERO ZERO ....... YES ...... NO ....... CABLE ....... NEW SERVICE ...... YES ........ SEVEN FOUR ZERO DESTRUCT ZERO ..... PAPA INDIA MLENDY GRACKLE BORGWARD ONE ...." tends to garner some interesting stares. What's next?

"To access customer service, say `I'm a big nancy boy.'; for billing, sing `I'm a little teapot'; for new service, say `I like alligator clips on my NIPPLES'; to speak to an attendant, say `Pauly Shore is my GOD, I must stalk him with Crisco'"?
Full post (ah, but who needs context?) here, including some amusing commentaries from others (My favorite, from gravitrue who was apparently quoting calligraphic buttons: The number you have reached is imaginary, or trapped in an alternate dimension. Please hang up, rotate your phone ninety degrees, and try again." (this one would have caller id attached and would behave differently when redialed))
ten straddle cam
  • sam42

(no subject)

intrastellar's family embrace their inner decorators:

My family put up all the Christmas things while I was in bed today. Going into the main part of the house is like walking into Jake Shears' wardrobe.

Context is dreaming of a gay Christmas. F-locked, QWP.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Bleu: Dino Boots

emjay has a major in kicking ass...

Wanna know a really random hate of mine? When people flaunt their degrees/professions by saying stuff like, "As an English major, I find that Shakespeare joke particularly amusing!" I'm glad you did. But we really don't care that you found it ESPECIALLY funny because you're a student or whatever of such. It's just sort of a way, I think, to make themselves feel more useful or important. I mean, what other reason could there be to say that?

Some of them are pretty reaching, like trying their damnedest to fit in it in the conversation, I've found: "Oh, you have a dog? As a second year student studying zoology, I am delighted you'd mention animals."

It's all right to be proud of something, but sometimes you gotta shove it.Because sometimes it's pretty ridiculous. Mainly cause none of us care. Would you care if we all did that? About everything?

"As a person with tastebuds, I found this lobster bisque to be delicious!"

"As a person with a working eardrum in each side of my head, I think this song is really great!"

"As a bipedal primate descendant who lost her tail to evolution millions of years ago, I'm sure glad these stairs have handrails!"

I suppose it could be pretty funny if done ironically, like as PICK UP LINES: "As a proctologist, I must say that is the finest ass I've seen since my 9 o'clock." Or or ... "Hey, baby, I'm a cardiac electrophysiologist and I think MY heart just skipped a beat."

Context is considering being a proctologist just to use that line.
  • Current Music
    Tom Waits - Ice Cream Man

(no subject)

Of the poem Prayer for Children by Ina J. Hughs, sheramil remarks:

i notice nobody's praying for

children who slam doors in anger on their way out
children who want it now, whatever it is
children who don't want to go, wherever it is
children who are content to spend their entire waking lives playing Mario Cart
children who won't eat it
children who won't clean it up when they drop it on the floor because they don't want to eat it.

- here. QWP.
top; adorable

(no subject)

latro meets the coolest cop ever:

Last night, around 1 am @ My brothers apartment. Jay, Brian, Erin, Dimsey and I had popped in the Journey DVD around 12 and had been singing along to such classics as Dont Stop Believing (of course), Faithfully, Any Way You Want It... Then:

*knock knock*
*Jay opens the door*
Jay: So I guess we were being a little loud, Officer?
GPD Officer: Yeah, so which one of you thinks he's Steve Perry?
*Jay looks around a bit*
Jay: That would be all of us, sir.
Officer: Yeah, well you suck. And the window is open.