December 8th, 2006

Glass Half Full

(no subject)

So gay guys can have all the boy-on-boy blowjobs they want to, and if I'm not mistaken, rimming and fisting are A-OK as well. But anal sex is a no-no. Well, you know, that does have its own interior logic. Sorta. (Lesbians, as usual, are ignored. I can picture the conversation the panel had: "Hey. Psssst.. Do you know what lesbians do in bed?" "...No. How about you? Do you know?" "No clue. Anyone?" ::silence falls:: "Well, you know, Leviticus doesn't say anything about women lying with women anyway... so... uh... okay!")

slammerkinbabe discusses a Conservative Judaic ruling on toothbrushes and moving trucks gay rights.

There's a reason people have natural talents

Marine jaythebarbarian writes:

"If I wanted to do hours of paperwork daily I'd have gone to grad school. I went here because all I have to deal with is killing people and destroying property, which I'm talented at. And what do I get? A desk and a laptop. This is probably to keep me disgruntled enough so I don't lose my agression."

Context is rethinking joining the military.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
[other] - me n' neko
  • jackie

(no subject)

jopickles educates me on an amazing new invention:

The tips of my fingers on my left hand were numb by the time I got back in the car after scraping windows.

There is this completely amazing invention... I'm surprised you haven't heard of it - they're called mittens (There's also gloves, but they aren't as awesome). They come in pairs, and they go on your hands and they prevent cold and numb fingers.

They are available in all kinds of stylish colours. Mittens hold all 4 of your fingers together in a little kit sack of warmy goodness, and there's a little separate sack for your thumb. With gloves, you get individual little sacks for each fingers. I like mittens better because 'mitten' is a much more fun word, and then my fingers can all hang out together and shun the thumb, who is an insufferable snob and is prone to screaming "It's because of me that you've evolved to where you are now, you know!!" and drawing annoying comparisons between us (me and the fingers) and animals without opposable thumbs.

Context doesn't appreciate a smartass when freezing...

F-locked, QWP. :D
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Made me laugh

(no subject)

stefka sez:

When I turned on the car to come home from work, and the radio came on, too, they were announcing a "winter weather alert."

Two things came to mind immediately:

1. I'd sort of noticed the winter weather, it being cold out, and with the snow falling as I walked across the parking lot.
2. Wouldn't you expect winter weather in December, if you live in the northern hemisphere? I mean, why do I need an alert for that? If I'm going to suddenly get summer weather in December, that makes sense. But I never get a "summer weather alert" in August. They just say, "it's going to rain" (if, in fact, it is). So clearly, at least 50 percent of the time, they realize how silly that is.

ALERT: You are going to get the weather that matches the season!

ALERT: The sun rises in the east!

ALERT: Wolves eat sheep; sheep do not eat wolves!

Honestly. All I'm asking for is a little common sense.

Context would be here longer, but it got too cold.
[♪] we'll keep on dancing 'til she comes

(no subject)

amireal would be the bestworst hacker ever:

if I were a computer hacker know what virus *I* would create?

One that makes someone think their monitor is crooked. Just subtly tilting their open windows in one direction.

Context not needed, this is the entire post.
  • Current Music
    Death Cab for Cutie - Wait

moxieroxor and a random thought

I wonder why it's always 4 out of 5 dentists that recommend Crest tartar control toothpaste. You would think that statistic would change once in a while. Also, I wonder if it's always the same dentist who refuses to go with the grain in these surveys.

Surveyor: Gentlemen, in your opinions, which mouthwash would you recommend to your patients?
Dentist 1: Listerine.
Dentist 2: Listerine.
Dentist 3: Listerine.
Dentist 4: Listerine.
Dentist 5: Pancakes.
Surveyor: What the fCollapse ), Earl?

...this is why I shouldn't be allowed to watch television.

Locked but QWP.