November 16th, 2006

Seal
  • imaria

bloomonky reports:

A triple olive suicide took place today in Myfridge, Kitchen, near Stove.

Three olives at separate times took their own lives today, while another nine were killed by the hungry 23 year old giant. It is believed that the three olives were attempting to avoid being eaten. We are told by sources close to the scene that the olives were from the Unico family and had only been living in the Kitchen area for a week at most.

The funeral will be held later this week for the three olives that took their lives. It is expected to be attended by thousands of citizens of Myfridge, Stove, and neighbouring Garbagecan.

Funerals for the other 9 olives killed will occur sometime next week, after autopsies are performed.

For 306 Brittannia News, I'm Melanie Webb, reporting from Couch.


Context will update at 7 (Full post QWP)
victim of the Man

Winner of the Crackpot Cup 2006

Beating "dinosaur bones were planted to test our faith" by a nose:

Way I heard it from some religious nutjob was that teh gay was spread by Jewish twins who were separated during WW2. Twins would get sent to separate concentration camps, and one died. The survivor, in his grief, accosted individuals they thought were their twin and used their crafty Jewish ways to manipulate said people into teh gay. Once subverted, these poor victims continued spreading their disease, leading us to the sad state we have today.

Everything before that was just platonic buttseks.

iniadelphinae, here.
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