November 11th, 2006

dressing room

Adventures in the Murder House

yourgirlfriday can't sleep. know why?

because in the middle of the night, in the woods behind the murder house, aliens or clowns (sometimes both) sneak out of the trees and tap tap tap on the windows with their dull yellow fingernails. Why do they do this? Because they want you to turn on the lights and see what's going on. Why do that? Because they're also inside the house, standing in the corner of your room or at the foot of your bed. So anyways, you turn on the lights and see them, they're smiling of course, and there's blood dripping from their teeth and you start screaming "ahhhhh ahhhhh" and halfway in the middle you realize they either ate your cat or your roommate, so you're all alone on this one. Why not eat you first in the dark? Because...because I suppose it's a matter of artistic flair. Anyone can come into your house and kill you, if they're smart they'll do it while you're sleeping, but aliens and clowns thrive on the fear. Then you realize this is ridiculous; the Dems have the house and congress and Nancy Pelosi will protect you.

The End.


Only context needed: the "murder house" is the tiny, creepy, big-windowed, 8'-fence-surrounded house she lives in

QWP
PR || Cosmos

tom_kiper discovers a purpose in life ...

... to serve as a warning to others.

If I'm ever in a grisly accident and have a leg amputated, as I hop around the recovery ward I'll definitely be thinking, gosh, how can I post about this in a self-deprecating way that encourages people to be bemused by or feel superior to my misfortune? Nothing the least bit odd about that. The ups and downs of life still provide me with a measure of private hilarity even as I apply the metaphorical steak knife of despair to my face.

Open post, context gives of itself so that you may learn.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy
  • duia

halo4 has Sage Dating Advice.

Upon asking my flist for help in finding me a geek boyfriend, halo4 beseeches that I need not look far.



apparently you haven't taken my nerdy advances seriously, dear... when I said we could cuddle up next to the fire and you read me Popular Mechanics in a sexy, sultry voice and I'd read you the instruction book to World of Warcraft like Captain Kirk...I was serious.

and then we could go whine about how we didn't get a PS3 because we were fucking lamers and didn't get there three days early to get in line.

and after that we can play some hardcore D&D...you can be the Elf Mage Stripper with a +20 to your Pole Dance skill and I'll be the Axe Toting Barbarian dressed only in a fur loincloth and a +5 Cock Ring of Enlarging!




Context has a lisp and Star Trek collectibles that are worth more than your liver on the black market.
[other] - me n' neko
  • jackie

Musings of a fangirl....

lady_lyca fangirls on Anderson Cooper in response to my picspam post of his hottness:

Why do you think I started to watch CNN on a regular basis? Because I want to be an informed, well-rounded individual? *pfft* I needed to watch and support my future husband!

From my FLocked post. :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Posing
  • cpip

(no subject)

byzantienne is facing off with articles and term papers.

QS: O HAY COOL ORTHODOXY OF THE LATINS
Article: *is really fucking GOOD*
QS: ... I agree. I agree! Culture war! Repression! Political instability! ... wait, I have to argue against this for ten pages?
Paper Topic: *sneer, smugly*
QS: ... /frell/. Er. Caesaropapism?
Paper Topic: Good try! Here, have this book by the same author of your article! It deals with all your objections and then some!
QS: Bugger all this for a lark. I'm going to write about Anna Comnena and the Bogomils, you see if I don't.

Context is off to the library. QWP.
Porsupah smile by Djinni

(no subject)

Remarking on the subtle energy abilities of the Life Technology Tesla Purple Energy Shield, foofers declared with prescience:

There really needs to be a scientific equivalent to Godwin's Law. Basically, anyone pushing a healing or free energy technology by invoking Tesla's name is immediately badged an idiot and/or charlatan.

It's a shame, really. It's not that Tesla did anything wrong - on the contrary - just that every dimwitted pseudoscientific creep wants to ride the man's coattails, following his reputation for being an eccentric genius and a showman. Stamping "Tesla" on your pet theory or product does not suddenly exempt you from any and all scientific scrutiny. As if they're trying to say, "They thought Tesla was mad - but in the end he was right! I am too!"

The poor guy must be spinning in his grave. Hopefully in a wire-wrapped coffin with magnets in his pockets.

QWP