November 1st, 2006

lexxie, dogs, christmas

holiday calories...

crevette thinks Soy Nog is just plain wrong:

here was this lovely tea, nestled next to the Soy Nog. As yet another digression, SOY NOG???? Fucking SOY NOG???

If I tried to bring home SOY NOG, I would be divorced, disowned, and childless within minutes. I'm NOT kidding. I mean, if you can't have egg nog, I feel for you. I really, really do. But to take the squeezings of very angry, pissed off, bitter, mean and disappointed soybeans, and try to fashion some pseudo-festive Holly-Jolly holiday nog out of it is just cruel and inhumane punishment. To the people you're serving it to, not to the beans. They're already evil, can't get much worse for them.

I mean, can you imagine serving Soy Nog and Soy flour Sugar-less Cookies (another choice at the 'holiday section') to Santa? He'd probably take a dump in your stocking, fuck the coal. In fact, every year UNTIL YOU DIE, he would track you down on every major religious and non-denominational holiday to take a shit in your stocking. And if you didn't leave out a stocking, your shoes are going DOWN, baby. Valentine's day? Some people get roses, you get a Santa turd. Easter? Don't think that's a chocolate bunny there, bub. Flag Day? I think that could be considered desecration, but since Santa's not an American citizen I don't know if the charge with stick. Yom Kippur? That's just hard to wrap my brain around.

So no, just NO. No Soy Nog. For the children.

QWP, Context wants some alcoholic cow juice, dammit!
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bear in his natural habitat

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paradoxotaur isn't crazy about the concept of smoked beer, to say the least.

Has anyone ever tried a smoked beer before? At the thing last Thursday my friend Rachael was tasting the different beers on tap, and handed this particular "Rauchbier" to me to try. It tasted like ham. (BEER SHOULD NOT TASTE LIKE HAM). It was AWFUL. My first question was "There's enough demand for ham beer that it's on tap?!?" And then I thought "Who sits around going 'Man, I'd really like a ham sandwich. But I don't feel like chewing. And I'd really like to get drunk from it."

Post is friends-locked, QWP.
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