Metaquotes

"The government steps in, and works to destroy all books, employing out-of-work forest rangers (who haven't had to watch for fires in months, given the abscence of trees) as book burners. Ray Bradbury literally explodes with irony, but nobody cares, since no one reads his stuff anymore."


QWP, Context combusts at 451 degrees Fahrenheit.

you_must_be_mad sings us this nice little ditty about a certain cracktastic anime classic:

You've just changed -
For better or for worse.
You're speeding fast towards Blobville,
And you cannot find reverse!
Should you blame experiments
For your bad attitude?
Or should you blame that crazy biker dude?

Blame Kaneda! Blame Kaneda!
He is why you've turned into
That gigantic blob of goo!
Blame Kaneda, blame Kaneda,
'Cause he never did ever let you get your way!

Context is Tetsuo showing up at sages_of_chaos.

truejabber reveals some embarassing things about himself in a meme:

1) I'm 6'8" but nothing else is proportionate. And no, not that part either. Imagine the trail of disappointment I've left in my wake.

....

5) I might have mentioned it before in one of these things, but I almost died when I was 19 as a result of drug abuse, mono, and herpes of the mouth. Kiss me.

6) I haven't been to the dentist in approximately five years. Kiss me with tongue.

QWP, Context will give you a cold sore and has things growing on its tongue.

Dear Ronnies,

Thank you for recent communication. Your requests have been entered into our system and will be considered in the order in which they were received. We wish to inform you of our exciting new business opportunity -- we have outsourced all pony supply operations to Buddha. We will be sure to pass on your request to his offices.

We know you have a choice of fictional holiday demi-gods and we thank you for choosing Santa Enterprises.

Sincerely,
Elf #273

~berreh, helps answer letters to Santa in LJ comments.

"S'nice thing about it, really, it's not like modeling or athletics where, eventually, age and sagginess will pull you out of the running. Even senile dementia will just give you an excuse to grope people at conventions..."

Context is avoiding cop-outs.

Edward James Olmos is in the new Snoop Dogg video. He's working from jail to broker a gang peace.

Lets rephrase that: ADAMA hangs with Snoop.

Don't ever let it be said that Laura Roslin ain't gangsta.
norabombay is white and nerdy.

Context thinks Cylons are the baddest, cuz de' their own posse!

lupinlover ask over at thequestionclub Why do postal workers go "postal"?

to which lierre answers "autistic should be a job requirement."

QWP, entire post here

Anyone claiming to be a network tech who cannot tell me what OS they're running will be immediately stripped of the title and retitled "Village Idiot".

As a corollary to this rule, there is no limit to the number of idiots which may be assigned to one village; however if the number of idiots becomes unmanageable, smaller geographical divisions may be assigned.

Context goes through villages quickly.

"Anyone remember those games where you type in commands like "pick up the book" or "open the door" and the game would respond? I'm totally having that sort of a morning, just involving my cell.

>Wander into bedroom to get cellphone.
Realize cellphone is not on pillow.

>Look for cellphone on pillow.
Cellphone is still not on pillow.

>Look puzzled.

...

>Look under stuffed animal.
Cellphone is not under stuffed animal.

>Look at stuffed animal.
Stuffed animal looks back, calmly."

And the quest goes on, far beyond the point of indifferent stuffed animals!

Context is set to vibrate

jerrymcl89, in response to a list of 6-word stories by famous authors:

It has to be the first time in history that Robert Jordan used fewer words than were requested.

Brevity is the soul of context.