October 14th, 2006

d
  • visp

Bank Tellers

By Millikov, going to get money from the bank, with a teller who's overly inqusitive.

"Is it for University?" "No. Now getting back to business..." "Why are you withdrawing this amount?" "Can I I take out the money using my cash card?" "Yes. But why do you need it?"

"BECAUSE IF I DON'T PAY OFF MY DAMN PIMP HE'LL MAKE MY SISTER SWALLOW 3 POUNDS OF COCAINE AND GET ON THE NEXT PLANE TO MEXICO TO MEET A FAT MAN NAMED JUAN PABLO JESUS WHO SMOKES CUBAN CIGARS AND HAS A HOOK FOR A RIGHT HAND OKAY NOW ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME MY DAMN MONEY OR DO I NEED TO START SELLING MYSELF ON THE STREET AGAIN?!?!?!"

Context here, for those of you that want it.
Pokemon

(no subject)

dementedchicken on what sucky customers do with their days...
QWP


This is how I think they start their day. They get up and steal their neigbor's newspaper to cut coupons until noon. They take a trip to the local retail outlet, stealing a peice of fruit from a blind street salesman on the way. They get in and spend hours double-checking prices to make sure that they can complain about a different store down the street selling this brand of shampoo for $0.02 less instead of going to that store. Then, they use one of their coupons to buy a gumball and then try to return it, making threats to employees and pissing off other cutomers. They then go to a fast food outlet for dinner, get exactly what they paid for, and bitch about it in line until the fed-up manager comps the meal. They get home and do rigorous calculations, cackle incessantly over the twenty-two cents they saved today as a crafty consumer, and go to sleep satiated.