I miss you.
I miss you.
Conversation (or something like one) in voice chat in an online first-person shooter:
Asshole: Are you a girl?
Asshole: That's cool. Are you hot?
Asshole: Do you ever do things with your girlfriends?
Asshole: Like, fool around when you're sitting around watching porn?
Girl: ..... Uh, no. I don't watch porn.
Me (to Asshole): Like, you know how sometimes you're just hanging out with your best friend, watching Arnold Schwartznegger movies in your basement, and all of a sudden you suck his cock? You know how that never happens? It's like that.
*vast and echoing silence*
Girl: Yeah, it's like that.
I have not the words, other than BEST. POLL. EVAR.
Arr! Fear the bloodthirsty buccaneers! Each pirate adds three to the score for their side.
The first rule of Ninja dynamics is the strength of the ninjas is inversely proportional to their numbers, so the ninja score will be the total number of votes, minus three for each ninja!
Robots are inflexible. Their score equals a half of the total votes.
Monkeys cause trouble. Each monkey only adds one point to the score for their side, but each monkey also makes the high scoring side lose a point! Or at least until losing one more point would make the high scorer tied with someone else. Each stolen point adds two points to the monkey side. Stolen fruit is sweeter.
Zombies multiply. Each zombie is worth half the total number of zombies. So if we have ten zombies, each is worth five, for a grand total of fifty for the zombie horde!
The side with the highest score wins!