September 19th, 2006

Jesus Christ

It's been THREE YEARS -- you run these risks.

(Context)

mike_smith:
When last we left our hero, Ron woke everyone up because he thought he saw Sirius Black in his room with a knife. An investigation quickly reveals that Black did indeed manage to sneak into G-Tower, whereupon he slashed up some curtains, woke up Ron, then ran away. SIRIUS BLACK: SCOURGE OF DRAPERY.

seductivedark:
SIRIUS BLACK: SCOURGE OF DRAPERY. How ironic. Maybe it was revenge.

edido:
ha ha ha... you beat me to it. Book 5: The Drapery Strikes Back
goddess

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

singeaddams is having a small conflict with her building's mangers.

The Weather: It's time to plummet from 90 degrees to 40 OVERNIGHT! Booyeah!

Building Management: We feel nothing.

Me: Holy crap, it's 40 degrees! Turn on the heat, okay?

BM: No, it's only September. We feel nothing.

Weather: How about some gale force winds? Feel THAT?

BM: No. We are conserving fuel.

Me: I FEEL IT! TURN THE HEAT ON!

BM: No. Pantywaist.

Weather: How 'bout some sleet? Icy rain? More wind?

Me: GAH! My extremities...I can't feel anything now...

BM: We are unmoved.

Weather: Sleet, ice, rain, wind, more wind SNOW CHA CHA CHA!

BM: My dick is bigger than yours. No heat, no way.

Me: Daisy...Daisy...give me your answer...do...
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
amused, spike and giles, generic humor

cooking with cats...

canyonwren reflects on why she doesn't cook much anymore:

Put pots on to boil. Move the cat off the counter. Wash hands. Pick up the cutting board. Move the cat off the counter. Wash hands. Open fridge to get veggies. Yank cat back from inside the fridge with foot. Talk sternly to cat. Chop veggies. Scream when cat jumps in the veggies. Pick up cat with forearms, trying to keep hands clean, and move cat to top of refrigerator. Chop veggies. Put goodies into pan to fry. Scream as cat leaps from top of the refrigerator to shoulders, so she can peer into the pot. Remove cat from shoulders. Wash hands. Etc.


QWP, Context is tuna-flavored.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
executioner
  • meowse

Anonymity != lack of accountability...

nbarnes says (http://nbarnes.livejournal.com/86122.html):

Conversation (or something like one) in voice chat in an online first-person shooter:

Asshole: Are you a girl?
Girl: Yeah.
Asshole: That's cool. Are you hot?
Asshole: Do you ever do things with your girlfriends?
Asshole: Like, fool around when you're sitting around watching porn?
Girl: ..... Uh, no. I don't watch porn.
Me (to Asshole): Like, you know how sometimes you're just hanging out with your best friend, watching Arnold Schwartznegger movies in your basement, and all of a sudden you suck his cock? You know how that never happens? It's like that.
*vast and echoing silence*
Girl: Yeah, it's like that.


Every conversation with an idiot should have an nbarnes.
Gen Default Lily Me
  • elucreh

(no subject)

cadhla is a pirate...don't make her kick your booty.


A small advisory to ye sea-goin' dogs...
While it may seem fair sportin' and enjoyable in the extreme t' take advantage o' Talk Like A Pirate Day to call those females of yer acquaintanceship 'saucy wenches' and ask them if they'd like a good keelhaulin' after a walk down yer 'special plank'...

...I have a chainsaw, and I am not bound by the Pirate's Code.

Savvy?

Sumer is icumen in

gao can imagine a better life.

Replying to a locked post on agonistes's journal, gao says,

I wish I was Lemony Snicket. I mean, my loved ones would all be dead and I would spend a lot of time in cramped, damp spaces writing stories about miserable people and crying on them, except for when I was contriving complicated ways to deliver them to my publisher.

But on the other hand, I wouldn't have to sweep the floor at work tonight.


QWP.
evilbaby
  • etcet

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

In one version of the future, people have learned from the past.

angel_sil: That whole Templar thing didn't end well for us last time.
the_yellow_king: Well, no, not last time.

*retreats straight into fantasyland*

It's just.....Templars! Mossad! Shin Bet and the Inquisi - excuse me, Holy Office! Back-to-back, kung fuing Islamic extremists into Eternal Damnation! Wrestling manuevers!

CRUSADE 2006! You'll pay for the whole seat but you'll ONLY NEED THE EDGE!

*puts down crack pipe*

Well. Maybe if it were anime.

============
Context has waived any Ticketmaster surchages. Mi LJ, QWP.
eowyn

Head cold ahoy!

(Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, me hearties! This be my first post.)


evadne_noel has trouble with cold medicine.

Hypothesis:

1. If I buy something that is not Nyquil, I will not hallucinate when I go to bed.

Experiment:

1. I buy Tylenol Cold PM and take it before bed.

Results:

1. I have a three-hour hallucination that takes the form of a Nordic saga.

Conclusions:

1. No more cold medicines with hypnotics. Ever.
2. Iceland is infested with trolls.


Context has a head cold. QWP
heptadecagram

Pirate vs. Ninja vs. Robot vs. Monkey vs. Zombie

I have not the words, other than BEST. POLL. EVAR.

Arr! Fear the bloodthirsty buccaneers! Each pirate adds three to the score for their side.

The first rule of Ninja dynamics is the strength of the ninjas is inversely proportional to their numbers, so the ninja score will be the total number of votes, minus three for each ninja!

Robots are inflexible. Their score equals a half of the total votes.

Monkeys cause trouble. Each monkey only adds one point to the score for their side, but each monkey also makes the high scoring side lose a point! Or at least until losing one more point would make the high scorer tied with someone else. Each stolen point adds two points to the monkey side. Stolen fruit is sweeter.

Zombies multiply. Each zombie is worth half the total number of zombies. So if we have ten zombies, each is worth five, for a grand total of fifty for the zombie horde!

The side with the highest score wins!

By badmagic, just today.

Default

Two fer one special!

shinga be lamenting that Ninjas should be having their own day.

So today is Talk Like A Pirate day. I've been walking around asking where the rum is, but I've yet to get an answer. No fun.

So I'm wondering, what would Talk Like A Ninja day be like?

Would it be a day you didn't even realize was THERE?

Like let's say... November 2nd is declared as Ninja day.

Come November 3rd everyone would be like "Whoa, what happened to the 2nd? Was it even there?"

QWP, The purpose of Context is to flip out and kill people.

-----------------

ernestinewalker gets a package.

I got a box this morning, and as I'm not used to getting boxes at my desk, I found myself a little excited.

It was 150 copies of the pamphlet I ordered yesterday for the trade show on Monday.

I wanted it to be a monkey.  I guess doing presentations means your chances of receiving a monkey via FedEx are slightly diminished.

People in my area, though, are aware that I don't receive boxes with any regularity, so they wanted to know what was in the box as well.

"It isn't a monkey," I said sadly.

They seemed sad about it, too.  As I type this, Brenda is speculating as to the fun we could have with a monkey. 


QWP, Context be using UPS
  • Current Music
    Ambient Noise
The city by the lake

Alliteration as inner meaning!

In fanficrants, aristaea offers a phychological explanation for cutting.

You just don't get how the red of the blood represents the repression of the Freudian Id. Red = repression because they both start with 'r', don't you see? And so the only way to let out all the frustration and anger and emo is to cut, because the blood is like the caged bird, and the caged bird wants to sing, i.e., bleed. And then the blood is beautiful (bird = blood = beautiful, 'b', right?) because it is like listening to the bird sing, and it is the only true way to get your love to notice you, because of all the inherent beauty. Isn't that just obvious? Why you gotta be hatin'? You are just a tool of our unfeeling oppressors!

Context is not oedipal at all.
springtime the pony

(no subject)

conuly has a conversation with a small child:

Me: *sitting on the ground*
Panties: *visible, apparently*
Ana: You draw on your panties?
Me: *checks panties - I have drawn on undergarments in the past, so this makes sense* No, honey, not these.
Ana: Oh. Wait... you
write on your panties?
Me: What? No...
Ana: Somebody write on your panties! That not very nice!
Me: *realizes she means the writing on the elastic that says "Hanes"* Oh, no, honey, that's supposed to be there.
Ana: It's posed to be there?
Me: Yeah. It tells me who made my panties.
Ana:
God made your panties.
Me: *cracks up laughing* No, honey, God did not make my panties.
Ana: Yes he did. In church, they say God made everything.


God made context.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused