August 19th, 2006

fireflyded

A sphincter says what?

mwissa: Girl: I think things have changed a lot. Women can now have careers and not a family if they so choose. Women still have a mountain to climb in regards to how much we make according to men and promotions and such, but 100 years ago, if a woman wasn't married by the time she was 18 she was considered a sphincter.

jananaphone: I'm 19 and not married! Oh no! *expels poo*

Context in this mock_the_stupid post.
aladdin - pretty jasmine

Some Harry Potter wank went down in deu_sex_machina

snoozenstein: For a while I thought it would be awesome if JK Rowling released only one copy of the seventh book to the public - with all of the pages scattered across the globe, most of them unnumbered.

Then I realized that would plunge the world into a state of chaos from which it would never return.

QWP. Context is almost completely unrelated to the original post.
  • Current Music
    Fluke - Absurd
  • kiwikat

ways to live forever, by kitznegari.

ways to live forever:

1) become a really original serial killer (unfortunately wearing the victim's torso as a hat has been done, sorry boys)
2) start a religion by convincing people you're the only one who is right. learn how to turn water into wine, etc, and ask all sorts of mysterious questions and tell parables, then die ("ascend", whatev) before you see the damage you've done to the world.
3) build a pyramid and put a curse on it so if people die inside it, other people will write lots of books about you
4) come up with a nifty equation (e=mc2)
5) lead a holocaust-type thing/start a world war with arrogance
6) move to america from england and come up with a new type of music, or if you're already here start a "new genre" of music and then kill yourself (overdoses are not as concrete, but you can try it)
7) run for office and pass irrational laws that noone can repeal (ie, you must wear noserings and polkadotted pajamas on thursday AND NO TAKEBACKS!)
8) go back in time and invent the cotton gin or printing press first
9) be a 6 year old beauty queen who dies mysteriously
10) get yourself into the bible (but i'm not sure if they're taking applications at this time)
11) cut the heads off of all the other immortals
12) write a theatre piece that everyone hates but that never goes away (see: cats)

qwp from kitznegari, found here.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
nick (by wych)

arielography comments on current events . . .

Now a bit of history: The French insisted that Israel and Lebanon should have an immediate ceasefire and the UN should step in and guard the border and stop this senseless slaughter blah blah blah blah. Thing is, when it came time to offer troops, the French are refusing to send anything more than 200 civil engineers (HA! Now we know what they are doing with their unemployed baccalaureates!).

Somewhere on the Lebanese-Israeli Border....
"Oy you, UN types, get out of the way!"
"No, you must respect the UN's authority!"
"And just whaddya gonna do to us!? Yer friggen civil engineers! Gonna throw a protractor at me??"
"We shall not build a bridge for you to cross the border! So there!"
*ka-click*
"....ah....let me get my tape measure"

Context, such as it is.
  • Current Music
    Nick Drake, "Saturday Sun"