Metaquotes

shadesong has an enviable problem.

"That's not a penis," I said. "That's a Biblical unit of measurement."

QWP, context is for suckers!

replicarter22 found the missing book of the Bible, the one with the lesbians:

And he [Adam] said, "Dude, this Lillith chick is hot and looks like Liz from Roswell, but she's got a weird lesbian vibe going on... can you make me a straight one?" And God said, "They don't come that way, but I can get you one that's obsessed with a snake." And previously referenced boyo said, "Snake? yeah... she'll like my 'snake' all right."

QWP'd

brad21088 posted a Myspace bulletin that recommends we treat Bibles like cell phones.

eric_andrew responded: What if we used it to store nude photos?
What if we used it to piss off people in movie theaters?
What if it was as dangerous to use while driving as alcohol?
What if we bitch at it when we get no service?
What if we used it to distract ourselves during lectures?

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- somelikeithot06 here in bad_sex. QWP.

When I was a girl, we never had phones. We used to send our messages by daubing text - U R SKUM, U SUX0RZ - on the side of a woolly mammoth and sending it into enemy territory to make our point.

Rest of post.

I give you the following from the Scavenger Lands book: "Every company has a different procedure for admitting new members. Some units have probationary periods up to a year in length. Others, such as the Bronze Pioneers, require prospective employees to fight a randomly chosen company member to the death."

Yes.

For every new recruit, they MUST lose an experienced veteran. To that recruit. How battle losses are replaced, I don't know. Battlefield recruiting? "You just killed John. You're a member now. Turn around and fight your friends."

From a discussion on editing.

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Dear butterfly,

get out of my flat. No seriously, it's not funny anymore. Either let me catch you or fly out the fucking window. Your frantic fluttering about my living room is really getting on my nerves now.

No love,
Me.

ETA: HAHA! Success. Caught the speckly little fucker. And it didn't turn right round and fly back in through the window this time. Amazing.



public entry, but QWP all the same. :)

"Regardless of what you might personally think of Bill Clinton, I don't think anyone can deny that far from being a latent homosexual, the man is a certified card-carrying PIMP."

--zhagtin comments in this entry by dduane about Anne Coulter appearing on "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch." (Context is amusing.)

Small Dog: I HATE YOUR FAMILY
Me: HA I WIN AT NOT LETTING YOU BITE ME
Small Dog: *is shoved into cage* DX!!!!!!
Me: *has not been bitten!*
Small Dog: I HATE YOU OMG
Me: FTW!!!!!
Needy Dog: I AM GOING TO FOLLOW A MUSICAL CAREER
Me: ...
Needy Dog: I WALK A LONELY ROAD
Small Dog: I HATE YOU
Needy Dog: THE ONLY ONE THAT I HAVE EVER
Small Dog: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

Context includes yet more stupid (but hilarious!) pet tricks.