July 25th, 2006

[olivia]  alone in our castle

i_own_boysluts's mom tries to be subtle with her requests

Kaya gets the feeling her mom wants her to do something... (f-locked, QWP):

I went to let my dogs inside so they could have a break from the horrible heat and I saw that my mom wrote "WASH ME" on both of them with a blue marker(?) ...My two white dogs say "WASH ME".

... and one of them has "HI" on his ass.


I just felt that was worth mentioning.
  • Current Music
    Stephen Lynch--The Best Friend Song
bitch please

Revenge is sweet.

peterchayward's had issues with anon. comments lately and figures out who's responsible:

According to Mark, this guy's an arsehole, so his nasty comments no longer bother me. I can see what he's getting at, anyway, even if he's not great at articulating. And now that I know he's not someone close to me, it's water of a duck's back.

Besides, his penis is considerably smaller than mine.

The entire situation is hilarious, but nothing beats being able to say you've got the bigger dick. [QWP]
  • Current Music
    Slipknot - "Diluted"
becks canNOT dance
  • jaig

bribitribbit's mum scares her

BRITT: *cough cough* Mommy, I think I'm dying.
MOM: That's nice. *pause* I bet you have the family curse.
BRITT: What? o.o
MOM: *is completely serious* No really. Whatever is rare and unlikely will happen to you.
BRITT: I think you're paran--
MOM: Do you know why our family is cursed? Because they were all incestuous until about ten generations ago.

  • Current Mood

Just because you're a geek, doesn't mean you're smart. Or observant

cadhla tells us about geeks she overheard.

In one of the terminal coffee shops, a couple of guys who fit into the 'clearly heading for San Diego' camp were having a deep conversation about women over their blended coffee drinks. The general thrust of their discussion?

They can't get girlfriends because girls don't like zombies.

Not just the generic 'girls don't like horror movies'; no, this was the deeply specific 'we don't get laid because girls don't like dead things'. They expounded on this, at great length. Apparently, our dislike of the shambling dead is a great flaw with the female gender.

Please note that as I was standing there, gaping in a mixture of horror and amusement while I listened to them rambling on, I was wearing my SLITHER shirt, under my S.T.A.R.S. sweatshirt. I couldn't have been a better advertisement for 'real girls like zombies' if you'd paid me. Not without a big sign or something.

Why can't you get dates, guys?

Maybe because you're MORONS.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

the rules..

charles has an addendum to the list of 'rules' that should come with each internet connection.

On behalf of the committee, I would like to announce the following addendum to the rules. These rules should be inserted into appendix 4.1: “Even Irony has an Expiry Date”.

For more information, please read the “How To Play” guide that was provided with your Internet access.

1. If you refer to the Internet as ‘internets’, you lose ten points.
2. If you refer to the Internet as ‘intarweb’, you lose fifty points.
3. By the multiplicative rule, ‘intarwebs’ is an immediate five hundred point penalty.
4. The committee’s decision on ‘series of tubes’ references is pending, but be warned that after something is mentioned on The Daily Show, it’s not an in-joke any more.
5. If you turn an adjective into a noun (“That is just too much awesome for one person to handle.”), you lose five points.
6. If you turn an adjective into a noun, then use it as an adjective anyway (“That is the awesome.”), you lose fifty points.
7. Any variation on OMGWTFBBQ is immediate loss of game.

The penalty for confusing “lose” and “loose” remains the same.

context, even though thats the whole quote is here consorting with 'my hed is pastede on'
  • Current Mood
    bouncy bouncy
They'll have to catch us first

greentartanslut - Jesus repellent for the whole family!

Jehovah's Witnesses just don't have the stamina these days. 10 years ago they had to walk 10 miles in the snow to be rejected, and they liked it! I had one harass me for 45 minutes while I was home sick from school, and the only way I could get rid of her was to vomit on her shoes. Now, that's conviction!

  • Current Music
    Separated By Motorways (Sexamatronic Mix) - The Long Blondes
HP mollylove

sapphires13 drinks American

QWPed from a f'locked post here.

I feel like I'm drinking some kind of freaky Republican apple juice. The bottle had a big cardboard tag around the neck that said "BUY AMERICAN!" with a big American flag, and there are American flags all over the bottle (one on the front, another smaller one on the back), and it says "Made in America" and "Made with American apples" about every two inches. Okay, we get the point, enough with the patriotism already. Oh well, it tastes good.
Chick with swords

Funnies from Friends List

From kantayra here:

Dear Neighbor,

I never objected when you had loud sex nightlywith your last girlfriend. Sure, you could have had the courtesy toclose the window, but - hey - I used to live in a dorm, so I can livewith that sort of thing. And, while it was nice and quiet after the twoof you broke up, I certainly don't begrudge you a sex life.

However, this new girlfriend of yours? Has got to go.

Seriously, she quacks like a duck during sex. How can you possibly not hurt yourself laughing at this?! She's all, "quack, quack, QUACK!" I cannot stop laughing throughout your sex now; I have no idea how you manage not to do the same. Also: Ducks? Not sexy.

(The comments are also amusing.)


From french_zombie here:

So I am now officially no longer in France. I'd like to say I shed a tear for my hometown of the past year as the train pulled away, but that would be lying. Actually I flipped it the bird and cackled, much to the disapproval of the woman sitting across from me.
  • Current Music
    'Ski - Two Track