July 18th, 2006

Kushiel's Legacy: Rainbow Love.

fiareynne has feline issues.

Earlier today I had debated with my boyfriend whether we needed to get cat litter or not, and decided it could wait until morning.

Kaylee had other ideas.

Danny is now on his way to the store to get litter. Why?

Because Kaylee just came over, stood on my chest, squatted and PEED ON ME.

Good point, Kaylee, and well made, but next time perhaps try something a little less, say, ending with me covered in urine?

QWP, from here.
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    Live -- 'People Like You'
splitting the hair

Shocking Bush/Blair video!

trinsf is gobsmacked:

So, there's this video of President Bush and Prime Minister Blair talking candidly about the middle east situation at the G8 summit, during a lunch. The "shocking" part is supposed to be that Bush says "shit". But that wasn't what bothered me.

What *I* was shocked by is that the president, in conversation with Blair, is chewing with his mouth open. Yes, you read right. And he even makes big smacking noises. And he talks with his mouth full.

Is there no decency left? He looks and sounds like he was raised in a barn! I *hope* Barbara Bush is suitably appalled/embarrassed. If one of *my* children appeared in international news coverage like that, I'd be on the phone immediately giving them a stiff talking to.

His policies are horrendous, his associations appalling, but his table manners ... unforgiveable.
Nicky Broken Men // me

Southern Baptists: 0, Shirtless Anime Boys: 1

lenainverse has a run-in at her new job with a Southern Baptist encountering the concept of anime and yaoi when looking at Lina's phone:

So she looks at the phone, and then we have the following exchange:

Baptist Lady: What is this on your phone?
Me: Oh, it's just a picture.
Baptist Lady: Is this that Japanese Pokemon stuff?
Me: Well, kind of. It's Japanese animation, but there are many different kinds...
Baptist Lady (with a snotty, superior smirk): You watch cartoons?
Me (beginning to become annoyed): They're are many kinds of anime that I would consider too adult to be "cartoons," but it's all animated, if that's what you mean.
(By this point, everyone at the table is looking me up and down, probably thinking that I look *nothing* like the stereotypical geeky fangirl in my cute lacy shirt and skirt combo...hey, just 'cause I have to work, that's no excuse for not looking hot.)
Baptisy Lady (in a hushed tone): You know, I saw in the bookstore that some of that stuff deals with...you know...gay people. Two men involved with each other.
Me (now extremely annoyed): Yeah, I guess in Japan they have different views on that sort of thing.
Baptist Lady: So...are you into *that stuff?*
Me (saucy wink and smirk): Oh, of *course.* In fact, you just reminded me...the new volume of Shirtless Guys Touching Each Other is coming out today!

Well, I was trying to be funny, but I guess the moral of the story is: Never tease a Southern Baptist. Yeesh.

*lenainverse wanted me to let you guys know that she stole the Shirtless Guys thing from Anime News Network.

Post found here.
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That's the best reaction to "It's a girl!" I've ever heard of.

"on this day in 1997, the ultrasound revealed that my baby was going to be a girl. I was just about in my 8th month and HUGE, and my Hobbit actually danced in the parking lot (!) because he was getting the baby girl he'd been praying so hard for. I remember people laughing at the crazy guy shaking his booty and singing "I make girlie sperm!" while I just waddled behind him shaking my head..."

bellarisa, qwp
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    giggly giggly
the hand

linusrichard, on being a member of a group just to insult it

It's just bullshit. She's pretending to be a feminist so that she can bash feminists and people can say, "See? One of their own even admitted it!" Watch, it's easy:

I am now a Republican. It is a primary article of faith among Republicans that platypus dung is an important part of a nutritious breakfast. Also, most Republicans believe that babies should be whipped with belts on a regular basis.

Okay, I am not a Republican any longer, but I am now a Christian! It is a primary article of faith among Christians that eating too many cherries can make you pregnant. Also, Christians believe that Antarctica is a hoax perpetrated by the masons. Not the Masons, but the masons, as in bricklayers.

I think I'll stop being a Christian now. But I do kind of feel like being a libertarian. It is a primary article of faith among libertarians that stainless steel is the holiest of metals, and should not be used for cooking anything but the holiest dish of all, which is macaroni and cheese.

Okay, I'm done being a libertarian. I've had some fun, and you've all learned a little bit about what members of these groups believe - and you have to believe it, because the information came from a bona fide member of these groups!

qwp, Context is busy insulting other posts

EDIT: on advice of the mod, it does not need to be qwp, as it is an open post. It was q'ed with p though, anyway.

Because it's their job to embarrass you...

Because just when she least expected it,ladydyani's son did just that.

A couple years ago, when my son was three, and just past being potty trained, he was very into following guys into the bathroom. (His father taught him to go standing up by having what my son called "pee races") One day, we had my parents over for dinner, and my son followed my dad into the bathroom. Dad was using the toilet, and my son opened up conversation with "That's a penis."

Dad says, "That's right. Just like yours and daddy's."

Son pauses for a moment, then remarks, "Nope. Daddy's is bigger."

Of course, my dad immediately came downstairs and shared this story with everyone else. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt for days.

Please do not feed the Context.

Oh...and because the rules say I have to, Keeyoo Dubberyoo Pee.
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    amused amused
me default

tviokh muses on the joys of anti-spyware programs...

On all three (McAfee, Norton and PCC), the anti-spyware features are complete and utter crap.

If they catch anything at all, which is rare, they usually can't remove it or even quarantine it. PCC usually says, "Action: The item was detected."

Sort of like the security guard sitting there, gun drawn, watching someone rob the store and just saying, "OMG! OMG! OMG THEY'RE ROBBING THE STORE BLIND! I SEE IT! OMGOMGOMGOMG! I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING!" but not actually doing anything.

QWP Context here.
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    amused amused
OH SNAP! - tearoseicons

(no subject)

jaig goes on a family outing to see Pirates of the Carribean, after which his mother laments his resemblance to Captain Jack Sparrow.

God knows what would have happened if she went with us to watch Superman. "Why can't you fly, Joseph? WHY. WHY. GOD YOU'RE SUCH A FAILURE."
Vacation from stupidity

diosabellissima deals with moronic movers. QWP.

  • The guy asked me where we wanted the couch, so I took him back to my dad's office and showed him where my dad wanted the couch. The guy says, "I don't know why you would want a couch back here." Well, isn't that sweet. Maybe we shouldn't buy furniture from your establishment. Well, I mean, unless we get it oked by you, oh wise interior decorator moving monkey who makes minimum wage to haul heavy things up stairs. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get your GED someday.
  • They then bring the couch in and get to my dad's back office. "Dude," one exclaims in great brilliance, "I don't think this will fit through the door." The other ponders for a moment and says, "Well, let's take off the window." It's right as he started making for the window that I jumped up and got between him and the window. "Let's not. Instead, let's just turn the couch on its side and pull it through the door." The hamsters in his head ran on their wee wheels, "Oh, hey, ok. I didn't think of that." Ok, so follow me here: you're a mover. You move things all day. That's what you do. Move furniture. Now, when faced with a large piece of furniture and a small doorway, your first thought is what? A: TAKE OFF THE WINDOW or B: angle the couch so it slides through like butter? A, naturally.

Context is couched in stupidity.
Adam Shades
  • asw909


salmon_of_doubt has been wondering about Parkour* - and has been thinking about some less physically arduous versions. I'll let him and various friends (the comments are worth reading alone!) explain...: [QWP]**

"Following this post from glassrat, it struck me that, as exciting and uber-street as Parkour may be, it does seem somewhat restrictive in that some physical fitness and/or co-ordination is required to participate in an effective and non-fatal manner.

With this in mind I would like to propose a few spin-off disciplines, which should be more within the reach of the average LJ denizen...


Much like Parkour at first glance, except that the aim is to fail the manouvre in as imaginative and/or comical a manner as possible. Aspirants to this discipline must exude a sincere belief in their own ability up until the moment of impact, and bonus points are awarded for facial expressions to the effect that they planned it that way all along. Any move resulting in a trip to A&E is automatically disqualified.

From: the French tomber par terre, lit., to fall on one's arse.

Collapse )

* Parkour wiki
** Knowledge of the UK/Yorkshire particularly might be necessary to "get" some of this...
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Mark, pondering

On the proper use of the period and the ellipsis

afuna in fanficrants

This is a period: .
It is single and happy to be so. It does not like to be paired with other periods unnecessarily.

This is a trio of periods in a committed relationship: …
It is also known as an ellipsis.

On occasion, you may find an ellipsis immediately followed by a period: ….
This is valid. The single period is free to ignore the ellipsis that precedes it.

This is a pair of periods: ..
Please don't do this. You're either splitting up an OT3 or else forcing two uninterested periods together. Think of grammar canon!

This is an orgy of periods: ........ ..... ..........

ETA:So is this:

  ...   ......  ...... ...  ...
 .....  ..  ..  ..  ..  ..  ..
..   .. ......  ..       .... 
..   .. ..  .   .. ...    ..
 .....  ..  ..  ..  ..    .. 
  ...  ....  .. ......    .. 

I know everyone loves a good orgy, but periods cannot afford to engage in one.

There's more here. QWP.
HP mollylove

puddingofevil bakes a cake

QWP - context here.

"Now, this is what I love Southern cooking. See, it's really all in the name of the dish.

Burn it? Accidentally spill the cayenne pepper all over the place? Relax, it's Cajun-style.

Worry that your fragile ego can't take criticism of the dish you spent all day on? It's Grandma's Secret Recipe! It's so secret, no one else has ever even had it! (Note: if your grandmother is actually there, it's your other grandma's recipe. If both are there...well, you're just out of luck.)

Have a bunch of random ingredients for soup that may or may not be toxic? It's gumbo.

Stuck in the middle of a civil war with nothing but corn meal and oil to fry it in to keep the roving bands of dogs from eating you? Hush Puppies!

Only have parts of the pig and plants that really ought not be eaten? Chitlins and greens!

And if you break the top layer of your chocolate cake before you assemble it? It's Mississippi Mudslide Cake!"