is having toilet issues:
"I'm all sorts of tied up today- my muscles are tired. See, I was up very early this morning trying to plunge the toilet so a girl could take a whizz. Seriously, there is nothing more beloved by me than trying to avoid capsizing the SS Turd while plunging a brimming toilet before 6 in the morning. Wakes you right up, doesn't it- it has to. The secret to good plunging, according to my mother (who is a master plunger as well as a hemmorhoid hobbiest), is a good rhythm. She's right. I tried a stab here and a squish there, and nothing. Once I mustered up a good fury and starting really thumping on that little hole, the clog opened right up and the SS Turd returned to its watery grave. Eat shit, Davy Jones.
This has been Erotic Plumbing, by Ernestine Walker.
, quoted with permission.