July 14th, 2006

Luna

Hilarity from fanficrants

generic_hero explains how fanfic works:

Example: I am a male. That means that, under the Gender Specific Fanfiction Resolution passed by the UN Security Council in 1992 (Fourteen members in favour, France abstaining), I am legally required to write a certain amount of action!fic.

I damn near fell off my chair at that one.
SParky

The price of a pint too many?

autopope had four pints at a Scots literary gathering, and the results are manifested in this friends-locked posting, QWP:
I woke up this morning with the nearest thing I've had to a hang-over in ages, and the following two lines from a story.

Opening line: "I knew it was going to be one of those days," said the ayatollah, "when I woke up in bed with the Israeli ambassador, his catamite, and a burst Baby Jesus™ brand condom."

And somewhere in the middle: "He pulled out his great throbbing purple man-tool and waved it at me, but he didn't have the correct adaptor for Human 1.0."
  • Current Music
    Frank Zappa, "Pinky"
digitized worldview

Chocolate

"Now, I certainly enjoy the adventure of some of these fancy experimental chocolates with their verbena oil, ground metals and showroom upholstery, but there is something quintessentially wrong and extroardinarily tiresome about a chocolate that requires you to dote on it."

"I like my chocolate milky. I believe chocolate and milk is one of the great food combinations. Others like chocolate dark and bitter, and possibly even angry, resentful, teary-eyed and histrionic, but I think this misses the point."

http://anw.livejournal.com/307759.html
  • Current Music
    Led Zeppelin - Dazed and Confused
me sexy curlz

filtered what now?

From this friend's locked post, quoted with permission, tubofgoodthings unleashes this gem

"I hate this asshole, and I'm a little pissed that his father would have the audacity to unleash that ungrareful little sperm into the uterus when there were probably so many other future doctors and firemen in his scrotum somewhere. Can't there be filtered condoms?!?"

ursulav is the queen of amusing metaphorical mental images.

ursulav:

It's a hardy weed, that optimism. It's rarely watered, badly gnawed by the Rabbits of Generalized Despair, and occasionally, for no apparent reason, large rocks fall on it from out of the sky. And yet, it continues to grow, a tiny green thing sending out runners, wearing a jaunty little hat on top of its stem, and generally irritating the living daylights out've everything around it.

QWP. Context is out back with the watering can.
Should Have Realized

my first time, be gentle

bagelofdeath said this in ohnotheydidnt upon hearing that Mr. T is giving up his bling.

NO MR. T, NO! TO WHOM WILL I LOOK FOR INSPIRATION NOW?! YOUR NECK, FESTOONED WITH GLITTERING WAVES OF GOLDEN WEALTH, PROVIDED ME WIH SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR; SOMETHING BETTER THAN MYSELF AND BIGGER THAN MYSELF!

And now you just want to walk away from it.

Now you just want to take everything away.

You think this'll do something, T? DO YOU? You think it's wrong to flaunt your riches before the less fortunate?

God, Mr. T. That wasn't how I felt. That wasn't how WE felt. You just gave us a shining, golden beacon of wonder that we could follow out of the dark and desolate pit that was our lives. You were the blingin' lighthouse on the ocean of our despair.

Wrong to flaunt, sir?

I say it's just cruel not to.


Context is shiny.
metroid
  • namey

Your score improves by 5.

miriku discovers the hidden level of a local bar.

so in kadan they have this suit of armor. i was wondering if anyone ever opened the face mask, so i did just to look, and inside found a wire clipper. really.

i almost left it there, but i've played enough adventure games to know that if something is placed in that illogical a location, it means it will be critical later. they're now safely in my inventory.
Viggo

(no subject)

"My aversion to MySpace is that every single blog I've ever gone to read over there takes 5 minutes to load with all the background animations and crud, and then I see unreadable 7pt blue text on a hot pink background and some shitty Nickleback song playing. . . ."

--fizzyland explaining why MySpace is LiveJournal's bitch, in a comment to a poll in _discussion